JIMMY YEN AND CHINESE LITERACY.

                         

Jimmy Yen – a story of one man’s influence on China’s literacy – among other things. Jimmy Yen – a story uv wvn man’z infloouns on Chienu’s liturusy – umvng vdhur thingz.
Jimmy Yen was a Chinaman who managed to go to Yale. It’s a long story, found in “The Reader’s Digest”, October 1987 – “Jimmy Yen: Crusader for Mankind”. I am only going to mention his work with Chinese coolies that were sent to France to help the Allies free up soldiers to go to the fighting. They had little idea what they were getting into. Jimy Yen wvz a Chienumun hoo manijd to go to Yael. It’s a long story, found in “The Reader’s Digest“, Oktoebur 1987 – “Jimmy Yen: Crusader for Mankind“. I am only going to menchun hiz wvrk with Chieneez koolyz dhat wvr sent to Frans to help dhe Aliez free vp soeljurz to go to dhv fieting. Dhae had litul iedeu whot dhae wvr getting into.
Jimmy Yen was associated with the YMCA from his days in China. He was asked by the YMCA to go to France to help with the coolies. He went just after he graduated from Yale. The coolie’s morale was very low and they were very homesick. One day three of them asked Jimmy to write home for them, which he did. Before long he had more requests than he could handle. He told the coolies that he would no longer write for them—they would have to write for themselves. He remembered an article* he read about suggestions for improving the literacy in China by providing a simpler form of writing. Jimmy started with about 600 word signs that covered most everyday speech. (After the war he increased this number to about 1,000, within a primer, with the help of a couple of college students.) His first class was about 40 students. Once their success became known, the demand became so great that Jimmy had to teach students to become teachers. In time, most of the coolies in France had access to this teaching. Jimy Yen wvz usoesheatud with dhv YMCA frvm hiz daez in Chienu. He wvz askd by dhv YMCA to go to Frans to help with dhv koolyz. He went jvst aftur he graduaetud frvm Yael. Dhv kooly’z moral wvz very loe and dhae wvr very hoemsik. Wvn dae three uv dhem askd Jimy to wriet hoem for dhem, which he did. Bifoer long he had mor rikwests dhan he kwd handul. He toeld dhv koolyz dhat he wwd no longgur wriet for dhem—dhae wwd hav to wriet for dhemselvz. He rimemburd an artikul* he red ubout sugjeschunz for improoving dhv lirurusy in Chienu by pruvieding a simpulur form uv wrieting. Jimy startud with ubout 600 wvrd sienz dhat kuvvurd moest evrydae speech. (Aftur dhv wor he inkreesd dhis nvmbur to ubout 1,000, within a priemur, with dhv help uv a kvpul uv kolij stoodunts.) Hiz fvrst klas wvz ubout 40 stoodunts. Wvns dheir sukses bikaem knoen, dhv dimand bikaem so graet dhat Jimy had to teech stoodunts to bikvm teechurz. In tiem, moest uv dhv koolyz in Frans had akses to dhis teeching.
* “Some Tentative Suggestions for the Reform of Chinese Literature”. * “Some Tentative Suggestions for the Reform of Chinese Literature”.
Jimmy was later to set up an educational program for all 180,000 coolies in France. Jimy wvz laetur to set vp an ejukaeshunul proegram for aul 180,000 koolyz in Frans.
Jimmy wrote a newspaper so they would have something to read. Jimy wroet a noozpaepur so dhae wwd hav svmthing to reed.
Eventually, people all over China were learning to read, where they had before accepted the lie that they were to dumb for such an undertaking. Iventuuly, peepul aul oevur Chienu wvr lvrning to reed, wher dhae had bifoer akseptud dhv lie dhat dhae wvr to dvm for svch an undurtaeking.
Jimmy went on from teaching literacy to teaching how to improve lives in many other ways, but that’s another story. Jimy went on frvm teeching liturusy to teeching hou to improov lievz in meny vdhur waez, bvt dhat’s unvdhur story.
One major fact remains; Jimmy Yen showed, again, that one man can make a huge difference. Wvn maejur fakt rimaenz; Jimy Yen shoed, ugen, dhat wvn man kan maek a huej difuruns.
Many spelling reformers believe that something like a government body is needed to ensure a new spelling system’s success. I don’t think so. First to the individual, then to the groups, then to the masses. Meny speling riformurz bileev dhat svmthing like a guvvurnmunt body iz needud to enshwr a noo speling sistum’z sukses. I doent think so. Fvrst to dhe induviduul, dhen to dhv groops, dhen to dhv masuz.

 

 

 

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Chapter 3

Contents

Chapter III

THE TIME MACHINE DHV TIEM MUSHEEN
by H.G. Wells by H.G. Wells
Chapter 3 Chaptur 3
`I told some of you last Thursday of the principles of the Time Machine, and showed you the actual thing itself, incomplete in the workshop. There it is now, a little travel-worn, truly; and one of the ivory bars is cracked, and a brass rail bent; but the rest of it’s sound enough. I expected to finish it on Friday, but on Friday, when the putting together was nearly done, I found that one of the nickel bars was exactly one inch too short, and this I had to get remade; so that the thing was not complete until this morning. It was at ten o’clock to-day that the first of all Time Machines began its career. I gave it a last tap, tried all the screws again, put one more drop of oil on the quartz rod, and sat myself in the saddle. I suppose a suicide who holds a pistol to his skull feels much the same wonder at what will come next as I felt then. I took the starting lever in one hand and the stopping one in the other, pressed the first, and almost immediately the second. I seemed to reel; I felt a nightmare sensation of falling; and, looking round, I saw the laboratory exactly as before. Had anything happened? For a moment I suspected that my intellect had tricked me. Then I noted the clock. A moment before, as it seemed, it had stood at a minute or so past ten; now it was nearly half-past three! ‘I toeld svm uv yoo last Thvrzdae uv dhv prinsupulz uv dhv Tiem Musheen, and shoed yoo dhe aktuul thing itself, inkumpleet in dhv wvrkshop. Dher it iz nou, a litul travul-worn, trooly; and wvn uv dhe ievury barz iz krakd, and a bras rael bent; bvt dhv rest uv it’s sound invf. I ekspektud to finish it on Friedae, bvt on Friedae, when dhv pwting tugedhur wvz nirly dvn, I found dhat wvn uv dhv nikul barz wvz egzaktly wvn inch too short, and dhis I had to get rymaed; so dhat dhv thing wvz not kumpleet until dhis morning. It wvz at ten u’klok tudae dhat dhv fvrst uv aul Tiem Musheenz bigan its kurir. I gaev it a last tap, tried aul dhv skrooz ugen, pwt wvn mor drop uv oil on dhv kwortz rod, and sat mieself in dhv sadul. I supoez a soousied hoo hoeldz a pistul to hiz skvl feelz mvch dhv saem wvndur at whot wil kvm nekst az I felt dhen. I twk dhv starting levur in wvn hand and dhv stoping wvn in dhe vdhur,  presd dhv fvrst, and aulmoest imeedeutly dhv sekund. I seemd to reel; I felt a nietmer sensaeshun uv fauling; and, lwking round, I sau dhv labrutory egzaktly az bifoer. Had enything hapund? For a moemunt I suspektud dhat mie intulekt had trikd me. Dhen I noetud dhv klok. A moemunt bifoer, az it seemd, it had stwd at a minut or so past ten; nou it wvz nirly haf-past three!
`I drew a breath, set my teeth, gripped the starting lever with both hands, and went off with a thud. The laboratory got hazy and went dark. Mrs. Watchett came in and walked, apparently without seeing me, towards the garden door. I suppose it took her a minute or so to traverse the place, but to me she seemed to shoot across the room like a rocket. I pressed the lever over to its extreme position. The night came like the turning out of a lamp, and in another moment came to-morrow. The laboratory grew faint and hazy, then fainter and ever fainter. To-morrow night came back, then day again, night again, day again, faster and faster still. An eddying murmur filled my ears, and a strange, dumb confusedness descended on my mind. ‘I droo a breth, set mie teeth, gripd dhv starting levur with boeth handz, and went off with a thvd. Dhv labrutory got haezy and went dark. Mrs. Wochut kaem in and waulkd, uparruntly without seeing me, tuwordz dhv gardun dor. I supoez it twk hvr a minut or so to travurs dhv plaes, bvt to me she seemd to shoot ukros dhv room liek a rokut. I presd dhv levur oevur to its ekstreem puzishun. Dhv niet kaem like dhv tvrning out uv a lamp, and in unvdhur moemunt kaem tumoroe. Dhv labrutory groo faent and haezy, dhen faentur and evur faentur. Tumoroe niet kaem bak, dhen dae ugen, niet ugen, dae ugen, fastur and fastur stil. An edying mvrmur fild mie irz, and a straenj, dvm kunfuezudnus disendud on mie miend.
`I am afraid I cannot convey the peculiar sensations of time travelling. They are excessively unpleasant. There is a feeling exactly like that one has upon a switchback–of a helpless headlong motion! I felt the same horrible anticipation, too, of an imminent smash. As I put on pace, night followed day like the flapping of a black wing. The dim suggestion of the laboratory seemed presently to fall away from me, and I saw the sun hopping swiftly across the sky, leaping it every minute, and every minute marking a day. I supposed the laboratory had been destroyed and I had come into the open air. I had a dim impression of scaffolding, but I was already going too fast to be conscious of any moving things. The slowest snail that ever crawled dashed by too fast for me. The twinkling succession of darkness and light was excessively painful to the eye. Then, in the intermittent darknesses, I saw the moon spinning swiftly through her quarters from new to full, and had a faint glimpse of the circling stars. Presently, as I went on, still gaining velocity, the palpitation of night and day merged into one continuous greyness; the sky took on a wonderful deepness of blue, a splendid luminous color like that of early twilight; the jerking sun became a streak of fire, a brilliant arch, in space; the moon a fainter fluctuating band; and I could see nothing of the stars, save now and then a brighter circle flickering in the blue. ‘I am ufraed I kanot kunvae dhv pikuelyur sensaeshunz uv tiem travuling. Dhae ar eksesivly unplezunt. Dher iz a feeling egzaktly like dhat wvn haz upon a swichbak—uv a helplus hedlong moeshun! I felt dhv saem horubul antisupaeshun, too, uv an imununt smash. Az I pwt on paes, niet foloed dae liek dhv flaping uv a blak wing. Dhv dim sugjeschun uv dhv labrutory seemd prezuntly to faul uwae frvm me, and I sau dhv svn hoping swiftly ukros dhv skie, leeping it evry minut, and evry minut marking a dae. I supoezd dhv labrutory had bin distroid and I had kvm into dhe oepun er. I had a dim impreshun uv skafulding, bvt I wvz aulredy going too fast to be konshus uv eny mooving thingz. Dhv sloeust snael dhat evur krauld dashd by too fast for me. Dhv twinkuling sukseshun uv darknus and liet wvz eksesivly paenful to dhe ie. Dhen, in dhe inturmitunt darknus, I sau dhv moon spining swiftly throo hvr kworturz frvm noo to fwl, and had a faent glimps uv dhv svrkuling starz. Prezuntly, az I went on, stil gaening vulosuty, dhv palputaeshun uv niet and dae mvrjd into wvn kuntinuus graenus; dhv skie twk on a wvndurful deepnus uv bloo, a splendud loomunus kvlur like dhat uv vrly twieliet; dhv jvrking svn bikaem a streek uv fier, a brilyunt arch, in spaes; dhv moon a faentur flvktuaeting band; and I kwd see nvthing uv dhv starz, saev nou and dhen a brietur svrkul flikuring in dhv bloo.
`The landscape was misty and vague. I was still on the hill-side upon which this house now stands, and the shoulder rose above me grey and dim. I saw trees growing and changing like puffs of vapour, now brown, now green; they grew, spread, shivered, and passed away. I saw huge buildings rise up faint and fair, and pass like dreams. The whole surface of the earth seemed changed–melting and flowing under my eyes. The little hands upon the dials that registered my speed raced round faster and faster. Presently I noted that the sun belt swayed up and down, from solstice to solstice, in a minute or less, and that consequently my pace was over a year a minute; and minute by minute the white snow flashed across the world, and vanished, and was followed by the bright, brief green of spring. ‘Dhv landskaep wvz misty and vaeg. I wvz stil on dhv hil-sied upon which dhis hous nou standz, and dhv shoeldur roez ubuvv me grae and dim. I sau treez groeing and chaenjing like pvfs uv vaepur, nou broun, nou green; dhae groo, spred, shivurd, and pasd uwae. I sau huej bildingz riez vp faent and fer, and pas like dreemz. Dhv hoel svrfus uv dhe vrth seemd chaenjd—melting and floeing vndur mie iez. Dhv litul handz upon dhv diulz dhat rejusturd mie speed raesd round fastur and fastur. Prezuntly I noetud dhat dhv svn belt swaed vp and doun, frvm soelstus to soelstus, in a minut or les, and dhat konsikwuntly mie paes wvz oevur a yir a minut; and minut by minut dhv whiet snoe flashd ukros dhv wvruld, and vanishd, and wvz foloed by dhv briet, breef green uv spring.
`The unpleasant sensations of the start were less poignant now. They merged at last into a kind of hysterical exhilaration. I remarked indeed a clumsy swaying of the machine, for which I was unable to account. But my mind was too confused to attend to it, so with a kind of madness growing upon me, I flung myself into futurity. At first I scarce thought of stopping, scarce thought of anything but these new sensations. But presently a fresh series of impressions grew up in my mind–a certain curiosity and therewith a certain dread–until at last they took complete possession of me. What strange developments of humanity, what wonderful advances upon our rudimentary civilization, I thought, might not appear when I came to look nearly into the dim elusive world that raced and fluctuated before my eyes! I saw great and splendid architecture rising about me, more massive than any buildings of our own time, and yet, as it seemed, built of glimmer and mist. I saw a richer green flow up the hill-side, and remain there, without any wintry intermission. Even through the veil of my confusion the earth seemed very fair. And so my mind came round to the business of stopping. ‘Dhe unplezunt sensaeshunz uv dhv start wvr les poinyunt nou. Dhae mvrjd at last into a  kiend uv histerikul egziluraeshun. I rimarkd indeed a klvmzy swaeing uv dhv musheen, for which I wvz unaebul to ukount. Bvt mie miend wvz too kunfuezd to utend to it, so with a kiend uv madnus groeing upon me, I flvng mieself into fuechwruty. At fvsrt I skers thaut uv stoping, skers thaut uv enything bvt dheez noo sensaeshunz. Bvt prezuntly a fresh siryz uv impreshunz groo vp in mie miend—a svrtun kywreosuty and dherwith a svrtun dred—until at last dhae twk kumpleet puzeshun uv me. Whot straenj divelupmunts uv huemanuty, whot wvndurful udvansuz upon our roodumentury sivuluzaeshun, I thaut, miet not upir when I kaem to lwk nirly into dhv dim iloosiv wvruld dhat raesd and flvktuaetud bifoer mie iez! I sau graet and splendud arkutekchur riezing ubout me, mor masiv dhan eny bildingz uv our oen tiem, and yet, az it seemd, bilt uv glimur and mist. I sau a richur green floe vp dhv hil-sied, and rimaen dher, without eny wintury inturmishun. Eevun throo dhv vael uv mie kunfuezhun dhe vrth seemd very fer. And so mie miend kaem round to dhv biznuz uv stoping.
`The peculiar risk lay in the possibility of my finding some substance in the space which I, or the machine, occupied. So long as I travelled at a high velocity through time, this scarcely mattered; I was, so to speak, attenuated–was slipping like a vapour through the interstices of intervening substances! But to come to a stop involved the jamming of myself, molecule by molecule, into whatever lay in my way; meant bringing my atoms into such intimate contact with those of the obstacle that a profound chemical reaction–possibly a far-reaching explosion—would result, and blow myself and my apparatus out of all possible dimensions–into the Unknown. This possibility had occurred to me again and again while I was making the machine; but then I had cheerfully accepted it as an unavoidable risk– one of the risks a man has got to take! Now the risk was inevitable, I no longer saw it in the same cheerful light. The fact is that insensibly, the absolute strangeness of everything, the sickly jarring and swaying of the machine, above all, the feeling of prolonged falling, had absolutely upset my nerve. I told myself that I could never stop, and with a gust of petulance I resolved to stop forthwith. Like an impatient fool, I lugged over the lever, and incontinently the thing went reeling over, and I was flung headlong through the air. ‘Dhv pikyuelyur risk lae in dhv posubiluty uv mie fiending svm svbstuns in dhv spas which I, or dhv musheen, okyupied. So long az I travuld at a hie vulosuty throo tiem, dhis skersly maturd; I wvz, so to speek, utenuaetud—wvz sliping like a vaepur throo dhe inturstusuz uv inturveening svbstunsuz! Bvt to kvm to a stop involvd dhv jaming uv mieself, molukuel by molukuel, into whotevur lae in mie wae; ment bringing mie atumz into svch intumut kontakt with dhoez uv dhe obstikul dhat prufound kemikul reakshun—posubly a far-reeching eksploezhun–wwd rizvlt, and bloe mieself and mie apuratus out uv aul posubul dimenshunz—into dhe Unknoen. Dhis posubiluty had ukvrd to me ugen and ugen whiel I wvz maeking dhv musheen; bvt dhen I had chirfuly akseptud it az an unuvoidubul risk—wvn uv dhv risks a man haz got to taek! Nou dhv risk wvz inevutubul, I no longgur sau it in dhv saem chirful liet. Dhv fakt iz dhat insensubly, dhe absuloot straenjnus uv evrything, dhv sikly jaring and swaeing uv dhv musheen, ubuvv aul, dhv feeling uv proelongd fauling, had absulootly upset mie nvrv. I toeld mieself dhat I kwd nevur stop, and with a gvst uv pechuluns I rizaulvd to stop forthwith. Like an impaeshunt fool, I lvgd oevur dhv levur, and inkontununtly dhv thing went reeling oevur, and I wvz flvng hedlong throo dhe er.
`There was the sound of a clap of thunder in my ears. I may have been stunned for a moment. A pitiless hail was hissing round me, and I was sitting on soft turf in front of the overset machine. Everything still seemed grey, but presently I remarked that the confusion in my ears was gone. I looked round me. I was on what seemed to be a little lawn in a garden, surrounded by rhododendron bushes, and I noticed that their mauve and purple blossoms were dropping in a shower under the beating of the hail-stones. The rebounding, dancing hail hung in a cloud over the machine, and drove along the ground like smoke. In a moment I was wet to the skin. “Fine hospitality,” said I, “to a man who has travelled innumerable years to see you.” ‘Dher wvz dhv sound uv a klap uv thvndur in mie irz. I mae hav bin stvnd for a moemunt. A pitylus hael wvz hising round me, and I wvz siting on soft tvrf in frvnt uv dhe oevurset musheen. Evrything stil seemd grae, bvt prezuntly I rimarkd dhat dhv kunfuezhun in mie irz wvz gon. I lwkd round me. I wvz on whot seemd to be a litul laun in a gardun, suroundud by roedudendrun bwshuz, and I noetusd dhat dheir mauv and pvrpul blosumz wvr droping in a shour vndur dhv beeting uv dhv hael-stoenz. Dhv rybounding, dansing hael hvng in a kloud oevur dhv musheen, and droev ulong dhv ground like smoek. In a moemunt I wvz wet to dhv skin. “Fien hosputaluty,” sed I, “to a man hoo haz travuld innoomurubul yirz to see yoo.”
`Presently I thought what a fool I was to get wet. I stood up and looked round me. A colossal figure, carved apparently in some white stone, loomed indistinctly beyond the rhododendrons through the hazy downpour. But all else of the world was invisible. ‘Prezuntly I thaut whot a fool I wvz to get wet. I stwd vp and lwkd round me. A kulosul figyur, karvd uparruntly in svm whiet stoen, loomd indistinktly beond dhv roedudendrunz throo dhv haezy dounpor. Bvt aul els uv dhv wvruld wvz invizubul.
`My sensations would be hard to describe. As the columns of hail grew thinner, I saw the white figure more distinctly. It was very large, for a silver birch-tree touched its shoulder. It was of white marble, in shape something like a winged sphinx, but the wings, instead of being carried vertically at the sides, were spread so that it seemed to hover. The pedestal, it appeared to me, was of bronze, and was thick with verdigris. It chanced that the face was towards me; the sightless eyes seemed to watch me; there was the faint shadow of a smile on the lips. It was greatly weather-worn, and that imparted an unpleasant suggestion of disease. I stood looking at it for a little space–half a minute, perhaps, or half an hour. It seemed to advance and to recede as the hail drove before it denser or thinner. At last I tore my eyes from it for a moment and saw that the hail curtain had worn threadbare, and that the sky was lightening with the promise of the Sun. ‘Mie sensaeshunz wwd be hard to diskrieb. Az dhv kolumz uv hael groo thinur, I sau dhv whiet figyur mor distinktly. It wvz very larj, for a silvur bvrch-tree tvchd its shoeldur. It wvz uv whiet marbul, in shaep svmthing like a wingd sfinks, bvt dhv wingz, instead uv being karryd vurrtikuly at dhv siedz, wvr spred so dhat it seemd to huvvur. Dhv pedustul, it upird to me, wvz uv bronz, and wvz thik with vurrdugris. It chansd dhat dhv faes wvz tuwordz me; dhv sietlus iez seemd to woch me; dher wvz dhv faent shadoe uv a smiel on dhv lips. It wvz graetly wedhur-worn, and dhat impartud an unplezunt sugjeschun uv dizeez. I stwd lwking at it for a litul spaes—haf a minut, purhaps, or haf an hour. It seemd to udvans and to riseed az dhv hael droev bifoer it densur or thinur. At last I tor mie iez frvm it for a moemunt and sau dhat dhv hael kvrtun had worn thredber, and dhat dhv skie wvz lietuning with dhv promus uv dhv Svn.
`I looked up again at the crouching white shape, and the full temerity of my voyage came suddenly upon me. What might appear when that hazy curtain was altogether withdrawn? What might not have happened to men? What if cruelty had grown into a common passion? What if in this interval the race had lost its manliness and had developed into something inhuman, unsympathetic, and overwhelmingly powerful? I might seem some old-world savage animal, only the more dreadful and disgusting for our common likeness–a foul creature to be incontinently slain. ‘I lwkd vp ugen at dhv krouching whiet shaep, and dhv fwl tumeruty uv mie voiij kaem svdunly upon me. Whot miet upir when dhat haezy kvrtun wvz aultugedhur withdraun? Whot miet not hav hapund to men?  Whot if kroolty had groen into a komun pashun? Whot if in dhis inturvul dhv raes had lost its manlynus and had divelupd into svmthing inhuemun, unsimputhetik, and oevurwhelmingly pourful? I miet seem svm oeld-wvruld savij anumul, oenly dhv mor dredful and disgvsting for our komun lieknus—a foul kreechur to be inkontununtly slaen.
`Already I saw other vast shapes–huge buildings with intricate parapets and tall columns, with a wooded hill-side dimly creeping in upon me through the lessening storm. I was seized with a panic fear. I turned frantically to the Time Machine, and strove hard to readjust it. As I did so the shafts of the sun smote through the thunderstorm. The grey downpour was swept aside and vanished like the trailing garments of a ghost. Above me, in the intense blue of the summer sky, some faint brown shreds of cloud whirled into nothingness. The great buildings about me stood out clear and distinct, shining with the wet of the thunderstorm, and picked out in white by the unmelted hailstones piled along their courses. I felt naked in a strange world. I felt as perhaps a bird may feel in the clear air, knowing the hawk wings above and will swoop. My fear grew to frenzy. I took a breathing space, set my teeth, and again grappled fiercely, wrist and knee, with the machine. It gave under my desperate onset and turned over. It struck my chin violently. One hand on the saddle, the other on the lever, I stood panting heavily in attitude to mount again. ‘Aulredy I sau vdhur vast shaeps—huej bildingz with intrikut parrupets and taul kolumz, with a wwdud hil-sied dimly kreeping in upon me throo dhv lesuning storm. I wvz seezd with a panik fir. I tvrnd frantikuly to dhv Tiem Musheen, and stroev hard to reujvst it. Az I did so dhv shafts uv dhv svn smoet throo dhv thvndurstorm. Dhv grae dounpor wvz swept usied and vanishd like dhv traeling garmunts uv a goest. Ubuvv me, in dhe intens bloo uv dhv svmur skie, svm faent broun shredz uv kloud whvruld into nvthingnus . Dhv graet bildingz ubout me stwd out klir and distinkt, shiening with dhv wet uv dhv thvndurstorm, and pikd out in whiet by dhe unmeltud haelstoenz pield ulong dheir korsuz. I felt naekud in a straenj wvruld. I felt az purhaps a bvrd mae feel in dhv klir er, knoeing dhv hauk wingz ubuvv and wil swoop. Mie fir groo to frenzy. I twk a breedhing spaes, set mie teeth, and ugen grapuld firsly, rist and nee, with dhv musheen. It gaev vndur mie despurut onset and tvrnd oevur. It strvk mie chin viuluntly. Wvn hand on dhv sadul, dhe vdhur on dhv levur, I stwd panting hevuly in atutood to mount ugen.
`But with this recovery of a prompt retreat my courage recovered. I looked more curiously and less fearfully at this world of the remote future. In a circular opening, high up in the wall of the nearer house, I saw a group of figures clad in rich soft robes. They had seen me, and their faces were directed towards me.  ‘Bvt with dhis rikuvvury uv a prompt ritreet mie kvrij rikuvvurd. I lwkd mor kywreusly and les firfuly at dhis wvruld uv dhv rimoet fuechur. In a svrkyulur oepuning, hie vp in dhv waul uv dhv nirur hous, I sau a groop uv figyurz klad in rich soft roebz. Dhae had seen me, and dheir faesuz wvr durektud tuwordz me.
`Then I heard voices approaching me. Coming through the bushes by the White Sphinx were the heads and shoulders of men running. One of these emerged in a pathway leading straight to the little lawn upon which I stood with my machine. He was a slight creature–perhaps four feet high–clad in a purple tunic, girdled at the waist with a leather belt. Sandals or buskins–I could not clearly distinguish which–were on his feet; his legs were bare to the knees, and his head was bare. Noticing that, I noticed for the first time how warm the air was. ‘Dhen I hvrd voisuz uproeching me. Kvming throo dhv bwshuz by dhv Whiet Sfinks wvr dhv heds and shoeldurz uv men rvning. Wvn uv dheez imvrjd in a pathwae leeding straet to dhv litul laun upon which I stwd with mie musheen. He wvz a sliet kreechur—purhaps faur feet hie—klad in a pvrpul toonik, gvrduld at dhv waest with a ledhur belt. Sandulz or bvskunz—I kwd not klirly distinggwish which—wvr on hiz feet; hiz legz wvr ber to dhv neez, and hiz hed wvz ber. Noetusing dhat, I noetusd for dhv fvrst tiem hou worm dhe er wvz.
`He struck me as being a very beautiful and graceful creature, but indescribably frail. His flushed face reminded me of the more beautiful kind of consumptive–that hectic beauty of which we used to hear so much. At the sight of him I suddenly regained confidence. I took my hands from the machine. ‘He strvk me az being a very buetuful and graesful kreechur, bvt indiskriebubly frael. Hiz flvshd faes rimiendud me uv dhv mor buetuful kiend uv kunsvmptiv—dhat hektik buety uv which we uezd to hir so mvch. At dhv siet uv him I svdunly rygaend konfuduns. I twk mie handz frvm dhv musheen.

 

 

 

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Chapter 13

Contents

 

THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO DHE UDVENCHURZ UV PINOEKEOE
by C. Collodi [Pseudonym of Carlo Lorenzini] by C. Collodi [Soodunim uv Carlo Lorenzini]
Translated from the Italian by Carol Della Chiesa Translaetud frvm dhe Italian by Carol Della Chiesa
CHAPTER 13 CHAPTUR 13
The Inn of the Red Lobster The Inn of the Red Lobster
Cat and Fox and Marionette walked and walked and walked. At last, toward evening, dead tired, they came to the Inn of the Red Lobster. Kat and Foks and Marreunet waulkd and waulkd and waulkd. At last, tuword eevning, ded tierd, dhae kaem to dhe Inn uv dhv Red Lobstur.
“Let us stop here a while,” said the Fox, “to eat a bite and rest for a few hours. At midnight we’ll start out again, for at dawn tomorrow we must be at the Field of Wonders.” “Let vs stop hir a whiel,” sed dhv Foks, “to eet a biet and rest for a fue hourz. At midniet we’l start out ugen, for at daun tumoroe we mvst be at dhv Feeld uv Wvndurz.”
They went into the Inn and all three sat down at the same table. However, not one of them was very hungry. Dhae went into dhe Inn and aul three sat doun at dhv saem taebul. Houevur, not wvn uv dhem wvz very hvnggry.
The poor Cat felt very weak, and he was able to eat only thirty-five mullets with tomato sauce and four portions of tripe with cheese. Moreover, as he was so in need of strength, he had to have four more helpings of butter and cheese. Dhv por Kat felt very week, and he wvz aebul to eet oenly thvrty-fiev mvluts with tumaetoe saus and faur porshunz uv triep with cheez. Moroevur, az he wvz so in need uv strength, he had to hav faur mor helpingz uv bvtur and cheez.
The Fox, after a great deal of coaxing, tried his best to eat a little. The doctor had put him on a diet, and he had to be satisfied with a small hare dressed with a dozen young and tender spring chickens. After the hare, he ordered some partridges, a few pheasants, a couple of rabbits, and a dozen frogs and lizards. That was all. He felt ill, he said, and could not eat another bite. Dhv Foks, aftur a graet deel uv koeksing, tried hiz best to eet a litul. Dhv doktur had pwt him on a diut, and he had to be satusfied with a smaul her, dresd with a dvzun yvng and tendur spring chikunz. Aftur dhv her, he ordurd svm partrijuz, a fue fezunts, a kvpul uv rabuts, and a dvzun frogz and lizurdz. Dhat wvz aul. He felt il, he sed, and kwd not eet unvdhur biet.
Pinocchio ate least of all. He asked for a bite of bread and a few nuts and then hardly touched them. The poor fellow, with his mind on the Field of Wonders, was suffering from a gold-piece indigestion. Pinoekeoe aet leest uv aul. He askd for a biet uv bred and a fue nvts and dhen hardly tvchd dhem. Dhv por feloe, with hiz miend on dhv Feeld uv Wvndurz, wvz svfuring frvm a goeld-pees indujeschun.
Supper over, the Fox said to the Innkeeper: Svpur oevur, dhv Foks sed to dhe Innkeepur:
“Give us two good rooms, one for Mr. Pinocchio and the other for me and my friend. Before starting out, we’ll take a little nap. Remember to call us at midnight sharp, for we must continue on our journey.” “Giv vs two gwd roomz, wvn for Mr. Pinoekeoe and dhe vdhur for me and mie frend. Bifoer starting out, we’l taek a litul nap. Rimembur to kaul vs at midniet sharp, for we mvst kuntinue on our jvrny.”
“Yes, sir,” answered the Innkeeper, winking in a knowing way at the Fox and the Cat, as if to say, “I understand.” “Yes, svr,” ansurd dhe Innkeepur, winking in a knoeing wae at dhv Foks and dhv Kat, az if to sae, “I undurstand.”
As soon as Pinocchio was in bed, he fell fast asleep and began to dream. He dreamed he was in the middle of a field. The field was full of vines heavy with grapes. The grapes were no other than gold coins which tinkled merrily as they swayed in the wind. They seemed to say, “Let him who wants us take us!” Az soon az Pinoekeoe wvz in bed, he fel fast usleep and bigan to dreem. He dreemd he wvz in dhv midul uf a feeld. Dhv feeld wvz fwl uv vienz hevy with graeps. Dhv graeps wvr no vdhur dhan goeld koinz which tinkuld meruly az dhae swaed in dhv wind. Dhae seemd to sae, “Let him hoo wvnts vz taek vs!”
Just as Pinocchio stretched out his hand to take a handful of them, he was awakened by three loud knocks at the door. It was the Innkeeper who had come to tell him that midnight had struck. Jvst az Pinoekeoe strechd out hiz hand to taek a handful uv dhem, he wvz uwaekund by three loud knoks at dhv dor. It wvz dhe Innkeepur hoo had kvm to tel him dhat midniet had strvk.
“Are my friends ready?” the Marionette asked him. “Ar mie frendz redy?” dhv marreunet askd him.
“Indeed, yes! They went two hours ago.” “Indeed, yes! Dhae went two hourz ugoe.”
“Why in such a hurry?” “Whie in svch a hvry?”
“Unfortunately the Cat received a telegram which said that his first-born was suffering from chilblains and was on the point of death. He could not even wait to say good-by to you.” “Unforchunutly dhv Kat riseevd a telugram which sed dhat hiz fvrst-born wvz svfuring frvm chilblaenz and wvz on dhv point uv deth.  He kwd not eevun waet to sae gwd-bie to yoo.”
“Did they pay for the supper?” “Did dhae pae for dhv svpur?”
“How could they do such a thing? Being people of great refinement, they did not want to offend you so deeply as not to allow you the honor of paying the bill.” “Hou kwd dhae do svch a thing? Being peepul uv graet rifienmunt, dhae did not wvnt to ufend yoo so deeply az not to ulou yoo dhe onur uv paeing dhv bil”
“Too bad! That offense would have been more than pleasing to me,” said Pinocchio, scratching his head. “Too bad! Dhat ufens wwd hav bin mor dhan pleezint to me,” sed Pinoekeoe, skraching hiz hed.
“Where did my good friends say they would wait for me?” he added. “Wher did mie gwd frendz sae dhae wwd waet for me?” he addud.
“At the Field of Wonders, at sunrise tomorrow morning.” “At dhv Feeld uv Wvndurz, at svnriez tumoroe morning.”
Pinocchio paid a gold piece for the three suppers and started on his way toward the field that was to make him a rich man.

 

Pinoekeoe paed a goeld pees for dhv three svpurz and startud on hiz wae tuword dhv feeld dhat wvz to maek him a rich man.

 

He walked on, not knowing where he was going, for it was dark, so dark that not a thing was visible. Round about him, not a leaf stirred. A few bats skimmed his nose now and again and scared him half to death. Once or twice he shouted, “Who goes there?” and the far-away hills echoed back to him, “Who goes there? Who goes there? Who goes. . . ?”

 

He waulkd on, not knoeing wher he wvz going, for it wvz dark, so dark dhat not a thing wvz vizubul. Round ubout him, not a leef stvrd. A fue bats skimd hiz noez nou and ugen and skerd him haf to deth. Wvns or twies he shoutud, “Hoo goez dher?” and dhv far-uwae hilz ekoed bak to him, “Hoo goez dher? Hoo goez dher? Hoo goez. .  . ?”

 

As he walked, Pinocchio noticed a tiny insect glimmering on the trunk of a tree, a small being that glowed with a pale, soft light. Az he waulkd, Pinoekoe noetusd a tieny insekt glimuring on dhv trvnk uv a tree, a smaul being dhat gloed with a pael, soft liet.
“Who are you?” he asked. “Hoo ar yoo?” he askd.
“I am the ghost of the Talking Cricket,” answered the little being in a faint voice that sounded as if it came from a far-away world.

 

“I am dhv goest uv dhv Taulking Krikut,” ansurd dhv litul being in a faent vois dhat soundud az if it kaem frvm a far-uwae wvruld.

 

“What do you want?” asked the Marionette. “Whot do yoo wvnt?” askd dhv Marreunet.
“I want to give you a few words of good advice. Return home and give the four gold pieces you have left to your poor old father who is weeping because he has not seen you for many a day.” “I wvnt to giv yoo a fue wvrdz uv gwd udvies. Ritvrn hoem and giv dhv faur goeld peesuz yoo hav left to yor por oeld fodhur hoo iz weeping bikauz he haz not seen yoo for meny a dae.”
“Tomorrow my father will be a rich man, for these four gold pieces will become two thousand.” “Tumoroe mie fodhur wil be a rich man, for dheez faur goeld peesuz wil bikvm to thouzund.”
“Don’t listen to those who promise you wealth overnight, my boy. As a rule they are either fools or swindlers! Listen to me and go home.” “Doent lisun to dhoez hoo promus yoo welth oevurniet, mie boi. Az a rool dhae ar eedhur foolz or swindulurz! Lisun to me and go hoem.”
“But I want to go on!” “Bvt I wvnt to go on!”
“The hour is late!” “Dhe hour iz laet!”
“I want to go on.” “I wvnt to go on.”
“The night is very dark.” “Dhv niet iz very dark.”
“I want to go on.” “I wvnt to go on.”
“The road is dangerous.” “Dhv road iz daenjurus.”
“I want to go on.” “I wvnt to go on.”
“Remember that boys who insist on having their own way, sooner or later come to grief.” “Rimembur dhat boiz hoo insist on having dheir oen wae, soonur or laetur kvm to greef.”
“The same nonsense. Good-by, Cricket.” “Dhv saem nonsens. Gwd-bie, Krikut.”
“Good night, Pinocchio, and may Heaven preserve you from the Assassins.” “Gwd niet, Pinoekeoe, and mae Hevun prizvrv yoo frvm dhe Usasunz.”
There was silence for a minute and the light of the Talking Cricket disappeared suddenly, just as if someone had snuffed it out. Once again the road was plunged in darkness. Dher wvz sieluns for a minut and dhv liet uv dhv Taulking Krikut disupird svdunly, jvst az if svmwun had snvfd it out. Wvns ugen dhv road wvz plvnjd in darknus.

 

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A DWELLER ON TWO PLANETS

A DWELLER ON TWO PLANETS, by Phylos the Thibetan, dictated to Frederick S. Oliver. Written in the late 1800’s.

This story is set in Atlantis—a continent unrecognized mostly by the scientific community—but found in the writings of Edgar Cayce—a psychic that spoke on many subjects—from a self-induced hypnotic trance. You will find Atlantis also in other literature that originates from the trance state. Taylor Caldwell wrote a fiction named “Romance of Atlantis”. There are a few books that suggest the possible locations of such a continent. According to the book, this story was dictated by a spirit to a young man in the middle of the night.

For those new to this site: this document will be partly spelled in a spelling system called Mentur, in parallel text format. Check the categories on the right and the About page at the top for more information about Mentur. You can see the traditionally spelled version of this story at: http://www.sacred-texts.com/atl/dtp/index.htm

Parallel text shows how Mentur, or another alternate notation, can be used to teach reading and writing in traditional spelling. It’s simpler than learning a new language using parallel text, as English to Ingglish is word to word, whereas English to Spanish would be more complicated. Most questions about Mentur can be found in the Mentur rules.

You can buy this book on Amazon.

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I have read this book two or more times. For most people, this story will be viewed as science fiction or fantasy, as it speaks of reincarnation and magical events. I found this story captivating. The reader should read it as if it was true—just as if it was a regular fiction book—that is, with “suspension of disbelief”. I’m only showing the contents here, spelled in Mentur. Click on the chapters to go to the standard version on the Internet.

I hav redd dhis bwk two or three tiemz. For moest peepul, dhis story wil be vued az siuns fikshun or fantusy, az it speeks uv reinkarnaeshun and majikul ivents. I found dhis story kaptuvaeting. Dhv reedur shwd reed it az if it wvz troo—jvst az if it wvz a regylur fikshun bwk—dhat iz, with “suspenshun uv disbileef”. I’m oenly shoeing dhv kontents hir, speld in Mentur. Klik on dhv chapturz to go to dhv standurd vurrzhun on dhe Inturnet.

I have guessed at the pronunciation of some of the names.

I hav gesd at dhv prununseaeshun uv svm uv dhv naemz.

 

A DWELLER ON TWO PLANETS

A DWELUR ON TWO PLANUTS

BOOK I

BWK I

Chaptur I

Atlantis, Queen of the Sea and of the world. Zailm’s pilgrimage to the top of Pitach Rhok to worship his Deity. He finds gold. The volcanic eruption–he is almost overtaken by lava flow, but escapes.

Utlantus, Kween uv dhv See and uv dhv wvruld. Zaelm’z pilgrumij to dhv top uv Pitach Rok to wvrship hiz Deuty. He fiendz goeld. Dhv volkaenik irvpshun—he iz aulmoest oevurtaekun by lovu floe, bvt eskaeps.

Chaptur II

Caiphul, capital of Atlantis, and its people, its form of Government; politics and marvelous mechanical features. Excerpts from labor laws. Electrodic transit system.

Kaeful, kaputul uv Utlantus, and its peepul, its form uv Guvvurnmunt; polutiks and marvulus mukanikul feechurz. Eksurpts frvm laebur lauz. Ilektrodik transut sistum.

Chaptur III

Zailm determines his course of studies as he believes Incal has directed.

Zaelm ditvrmunz hiz kors uv stvdyz az he bileevz Inkul haz durektud.

Chaptur IV

Physical science as understood by the Poseidii, and the prime principles upon which it was based. “Incal Malixetho: i.e. God is immanent in Nature” was first–to this they appended–“Axte Incal, Axtuce Mun” translated “To know God is to know all worlds what ever”. They held that but One Substance existed, and but One Energy,

Fizikul siuns az undurstwd by dhv Poesiedy, and dhv priem prinsupulz upon which it wvz baesd. “Inkul Muliksuthoe: i.e. God iz imununt in Naechur” wvz fvrst—to dhis dhae upendud—”Aksty Inkul, Akstoos Mvn” translaetud “To knoe God iz to knoe aul wvrldz whot evur”. Dhae held dhat bvt Wvn Svbstuns egzistud, and bvt Wvn Enurjy,

the one being Incal externalized, and the other His Life in action in His Body. Applying this principle to their scientific work they accomplished through it aerial navigation without gas or sails,–circumnavigating the globe in a day–conveyance of sound with reflection of the sender–heat and power conduction to whatever

dhv wvn being Inkul ekstvrnuliezd, and dhe vdhur Hiz Lief in akshun in Hiz Body. Uplieing dhis prinsupul to dheir siuntifik wvrk dhae ukomplishd throo it ereul navugaeshun without gas or saelz—surkumnavugaeting dhv gloeb in a dae—kunvaeuns uv sound with riflekshun uv dhv sendur—heet and pour kundvkshun to whotevur

distance without material connection, transmuted metals–obtained, by electrical action, water from the atmosphere. These, and many others, were in common use. (Some of these things approach re-discovery, but the reader must remember that the book here indexed was finished in 1886, when the modern world knew them not. It knew not the Cathode Ray till 1896).

distuns without mutireul kunekshun, transmuetud metulz—ubtaend, by ilektrikul akshun, wotur frvm dhe atmusfir. Dheez, and meny vdhurz, wvr in komun ues. (Svm uv dheez thingz uproech rydiskuvvury, bvt dhv reedur mvst rimembur dhat dhv bwk hir indeksd wvz finishd in 1886, when dhv modurn wvruld knoo dhem not. It knoo not dhv Kathoed Rae til 1896).

Chaptur V

Zailm’s life in Caiphul. The Rai of the Maxin Laws. Acquaintance with the prophet. Visit to the Emperor’s Palace–an interview with the Emperor.

Zaelm’z lief in Kaeful. Dhv Rae uv dhv Maksun Lauz. Ukwaentuns with dhv profut. Vizut to dhe Empurur’z Palus—an inturvue with dhe Empurur.

Chaptur VI

No good thing can ever perish. Synopsis of the Origin of the Poseidii.

No gwd thing kan evur perish. Sunopsus uv dhe Orujun uv dhv Poesiedy.

Chaptur VII

Religion of the Poseidii. “Close not the Ends of My Cross.”

Rilijun uv dhv Poesiedy. “Kloez not dhe Endz uv Mie Kros.”

Chaptur VIII

A Grave Prophecy of Zailm’s future.

A Graev Profusy uv Zaelm’z fuechur.

Chaptur IX

Curing Crime. Zailm called to criminal court as witness. Treatment of the criminals.

Kywring Kriem. Zaelm kauld to krimunul kort az witnus. Treetmunt uv dhv krimunulz.

Chaptur X

Zailm offered the position of Secretary of Records–bringing him in close contact with the Rai, and all of the Princes, which he accepts. He is requested to go on an errand of courtesy to the country of the Suernii–a nation much more advanced in mystic knowledge than the Poseidii.

Zaelm ofurd dhv puzishun uv Sekrutery uv Rekurdz—bringing him in kloes kontakt with dhv Rae, and aul uv dhv Prinsuz, which he aksepts. He iz rikwestud to go on an erund uv kvrtusy to dhv kvntry uv dhv Swerny—a naeshun mvch mor udvansd in mistik nolij dhan dhv Poesiedy.

Chaptur XI

Recital of Princess Lolix regarding an exhibition of Magic power.

Risietul uv Prinsus Loliks rigarding an eksubishun uv Majik pour.

Chaptur XII

The unexpected happens. Prince Menax reveals his affection for Zailm and asks him to be his son.

Dhe unekspektud hapunz. Prins Menaks riveelz hiz ufekshun for Zaelm and asks him to be hiz svn.

Chaptur XIII

The language of the Soul.

Dhv langgwij uv dhv Soel.

Chaptur XIV

The adoption of Zailm. Description of the Incalithlon, or Great Temple,–The Incalix Mainin. The Rai of the Maxin. Establishment of the Maxin or Unfed Fire of Incal and the Book of the Law. Rai Gwauxln and Incalix Mainin “Sons of the Solitude.”

Dhe udopshun uv Zaelm. Diskripshun uv dhe Inkuluthlon, or Graet Tempul,–Dhv Inkuliks Maenun. Dhv Rae uv dhv Maksun. Establishmunt uv dhv Maksun or Unfed Fier uv Inkul and dhv Bwk uv dhv Lau. Rae Gwaukslun and Inkuliks Maenun “Svnz uv dhv Solutood.”

Chaptur XV

Zailm’s mother deserts him and returns to the mountain. Brain fever. The vase of malleable glass for Ernon, Rai of Suern, with Poseid inscription.

Zaelm’z mvdhur dizvrts him and ritvrnz to dhv mountun. Braen feevur. Dhv vaes uv maleubul glas for Vrnun, Rae uv Swern, with Poesied inskripshun.

Chaptur XVI

The aerial voyage to Suern. Parting two miles above terra firma. The storm. Sowing seeds at sunset–three hundred and fifty miles horizon. Waiting the cessation of the storm. Friends at home appear in the mirror of the Naim. The Suernii a strange and angry people, rebelling against the rule of the Sons of the Solitude, who strove to lift them up. Death of Rai Ernon. His body, by command of Rai Gwauxln, taken back to Caiphul to pass through the Unfed Fire.

Dhe ereul voiij to Swern. Parting two mielz ubuvv teru fvrmu. Dhv storm. Soeing seedz at svnset—three hvndrud and fifty mielz huriezun. Waeting dhv sesaeshun uv dhv storm. Frendz at hoem upir in dhv mirur uv dhv Naem. Dhv Swerny a straenj and anggry peepul, ribeling ugenst dhv rool uv dhv Svnz uv dhv Solutood, hoo stroev to lift dhem vp. Deth uv Rae

Vrnun. Hiz body, by kumand uv Rae Gwaukslun, taekun bak to Kaeful to pas throo dhe Vnfed Fier.

Chaptur XVII

Impressive funeral of Rai Ernon, attended by the Sons of the Solitude.

Impresiv fuenurul uv Rae Vrnun, utendud by dhv Svnz uv dhv Solutood.

Chaptur XVIII

Rai Gwauxln tenders Zailm Suzerainty over the land of Suern. He hesitates, as he is yet an undergraduate at the Xioquithlon; but as the Emperor promises him that the Governor whom as Envoy-in-Special of the Rai of Poseid, he (Zailm) had appointed over Suernis should execute the duties of the position until himself should be legally

Rae Gwaukslun tendurz Zaelm Soozuraenty oevur dhv land uv Swern. He hezutaets, az he iz yet an undurgraduut at dhv  Zioekwithlon; bvt az dhe Empurur promusuz him dhat dhv Guvvurnur hoom az Envoi-in-Speshul uv dhv Rae uv Poesied, he (Zaelm) had upointud oevur Swernyz shwd eksikuet dhv dootyz uv dhv puzishun until himself shwd be leeguly

capable of doing so, he accepts the almost imperial honor, and is dismissed to the completion of the pleasure trip interrupted by the death of Rai Ernon. They visit the Umaurean (present American) colonies of Poseid, which are described. The Grand Canon of the Colorado is not merely the gradual product of time and water and

kaepubul uv doing so, he aksepts dhe aulmoest impireul onur, and iz dismisd to dhv kumpleeshun uv dhv plezhur trip inturvptud by dhv deth uv Rae Vrnun. Dhae vizut dhe Umaureun (prezunt Umerikun) kolunyz uv Poesied, which ar diskriebd. Dhv Grand Kanun uv dhv Koluradoe iz not mirly dhv graduul produkt uv tiem and wotur and

weather, but of sudden formation through volcanic action. “The hand of Pluto was the major worker;” 12,000 years ago he saw a sea cover that region, which “fled away into the Gulf of California.” Visit to the building on the summit of the greater of the Three Tetons, in Idaho, rediscovered by Professor Hayden while on the same

wedhur, bvt uv svdun formaeshun throo volkanik akshun. “Dhv hand uv Plootoe wvz dhv maejur wvrkur;” 12,000 yirz ugoe he sau a see kuvvur dhat reejun, which “fled uwae into dhv Gvlf uv Kalufornyu.” Vizut to dhv bilding on dhv svmut uv dhv graetur uv dhv Three Teetonz, in Ieduhoe, rydiskuvvurd by Prufesur Haedun whiel on dhv saem

expedition which made known to the modern world the famous Yellowstone region–Professor Hayden once a Poseida, attached to the government body of scientists stationed there. Visit to the copper mines, in the present Lake Superior region. Present of a knife of

ekspudishun which maed knoen to dhv modurn wvruld dhv faemus Yeloestoen reejun—Prufesur Haedun wvns a Poesiedu, utachd to dhv guvvurnmunt body uv siuntusts staeshund dher. Vizut to dhv kopur mienz, in dhv prezunt Laek Supireur reejun. Prezunt uv a nief uv

tempered copper. Incalia, west of the chain now known as the Rocky Mountains. Toward home, East, then South. Forsaking the realms of air for the depths of the sea at the rate of a mile a minute. Reproved by his father over the naim for recklessness.

tempurd kopur. Inkaleu, west uv dhv chaen nou knoen az dhv Roky Mountunz. Tuword hoem, Eest, dhen South. Forsaeking dhv relmz uv er for dhv depths uv dhv see at dhv raet uv a miel a minut. Riproovd by hiz fodhur oevur dhv naem for reklusnus.

Chaptur XIX

Home again. The problem of teaching the Suernii. These people, having lost their seeming magic power, require tuition in the arts of life. Zailm and his vice-regents accomplish this. The latter records of this people to be found in the history of the Judaic race. Death of Lolix’s father; her indifference at hearing of it. Slumbering of conscience.

Hoem ugen. Dhv problum uv teeching dhv Swerny. Dheez peepul, having lost dheir seeming majik pour, rikwier tooishun in dhe arts uv lief. Zaelm and hiz vies-reejunts ukomplish dhis. Dhv latur rekurdz uv dhis peepul to be found in dhv histury uv dhv Joodaik raes. Deth uv Loliks’z fodhur; hvr indifuruns at hiring uv it. Slvmburing uv konshuns.

Chaptur XX

Duplicity. Graduation at the Xioquithlon. Festivities in honor of the graduates. Sadness of the Emperor at his nephew’s wrong-doing.

Dooplisuty. Graduaeshun at dhv Ziukwithlon. Festivutyz in onur uv dhv graduuts. Sadnus uv dhe Empurur at hiz nefue’z rong-doing.

Chaptur XXI

The mistake of a life. The demand of karma. Atonement is not undoing. Christ atoned–we must undo. Reincarnation is expiation.

Dhv mustaek uv a lief. Dhv dimand uv karmu. Utoenmunt iz not undoing. Chriest utoend—we mvst undoo. Reinkarnaeshun iz ekspeaeshun.

Chaptur XXII

Zailm asks Anzimee to be his wife. She confides her joy to Lolix, who drops fainting to the floor, but does not betray the secret of Zailm and herself. In an interview she resigns him to his new love, but the shock unsettles her mind, and in the evening she appears

Zaelm asks Anzumee to be hiz wife. She kunfiedz hvr joi to Loliks, hoo drops faenting to dhv flor, bvt dvz not bitrae dhv seekrut uv Zaelm and hurself. In an inturvue she rizienz him to hiz noo luv, bvt dhv shok unsetulz hvr miend, and in dhv eevning she upirz

before the assembly in the Great Temple, where the announcement of the coming marriage is being made, and a most exciting scene occurs, closing with the dramatic death of Lolix, through the magic art of the High Priest.

bifoer dhe usembly in dhv Graet Tempul, wher dhe unounsmunt uv dhv kvming marrij iz being maed, and a moest eksieting seen ukvrz, kloezing with dhv drumatik deth uv Loliks, throo dhv majik art uv dhv Hie Preest.

Chaptur XXIII

A witness before the criminal. Remorse of Zailm. Speeding away on his vailx, for three months he wanders in agony of soul, that takes him for a time out of the body. Finding Lolix, he weeps over her and their child. Then a glorious radiance breaks over the scene, and One whom he has seen before is beside them and gives them rest. At last

A witnus bifoer dhv krimunul. Rimors uv Zaelm. Speeding uwae on hiz vaeliks, for three mvnths he wondurz in aguny uv soel, dhat taeks him for a tiem out uv dhv body. Fiending Loliks, he weeps oevur hvr and dheir chield. Dhen a gloreus raedeuns braeks oevur dhv seen, and Wvn hoom he haz seen bifoer iz bisied dhem and givz dhem rest. At last

he goes home, to learn that his father has died of grief at his supposed death. The shock of his unexpected return nearly causes the death of Anzimee. Confession to Anzimee and forgiveness. Departure for the mines of Southern Umaur. The electric generation of water. Loss of

he goez hoem, to lvrn dhat hiz fodhur haz died uv greef at hiz supoezd deth. Dhv shok uv hiz unekspektud ritvrn nirly kauzuz dhv deth uv Anzumee. Kunfeshun to Anzumee and forgivnus. Diparchur for dhv mienz uv Svdhur Umaur. Dhe ilektrik jenuraeshun uv wotur. Los uv

the vibrator of the naim, thus destroying communication with home. Finding of the cavern house and getting fastened therein. Hunger and thirst. Astral visit of Mainin, the High Priest. He promises to send help, but comes again taunting Zailm, blaspheming Deity. A glorious visitor appears, who blasts Mainin into outer darkness. To Zailm He gave “Peace and Sleep.” (Death.)

dhv viebraetur uv dhv naem, dhvs distroiing kumuenikaeshun with hoem. Fiending uv dhv kavurn hous and getting fasund dherin. Hvngur and thvrst. Astrul vizut uv Maenun, dhv Hie Preest. He promusuz to send help, bvt kvmz ugen taunting Zaelm, blasfuming Deuty. A gloreus vizutur upirz, hoo blasts Maenun into outur darknus. To Zaelm He gaev “Pees and Sleep.” (Deth.)

Chaptur XXIV

Awaking in the astral he returned to camp. Succeeding in making his men understand that they must return to Caiphul, he returned thither by exertion of will power, to be greeted by the Emperor, who alone could see him, thus: “What! Zailm! Dead! Dead!” Entrance to and “life” in Devachan. References to earlier earth lives. Completion of Devachan and reincarnation on earth.

Uwaekuning in dhe astrul he ritvrnd to kamp. Sukseeding in maeking hiz men undurstand dhat dhae mvst ritvrn to Kaeful, he ritvrnd thidhur by egzvrshun uv wil pour, to be greetud by dhe Empurur, hoo uloen kwd see him, dhvs: “Whot! Zaelm! Ded! Ded!” Entruns to and “lief” in Devuchan. Refurunsuz to vrlyur vrth lievz. Kumpleeshun uv Devuchan and reinkarnaeshun on vrth.

 

APPENDIX

Seven Shasta Scenes.

I
II
III
IV
V
VI
VII

 

BOOK II

BWK II

Chaptur I

In another personality–that of Walter Pierson, an American citizen. Orphaned in infancy–roving life on the sea. Is a soldier in the war of Secession. Next is a gold miner in California. Quong: companionship with p. 9 the Tehin on trips among the mountains. Philosophizing. Meeting with the grizzly bear and witnessing his docility at Quong’s command.

In unvdhur pursunaluty—dhat uv Waultur Pirsun, an Umerikun situzun. Orfund in infunsy—roeving lief on dhv see. Iz a soeljur in dhv wor uv Siseshun. Nekst iz a goeld mienur in Kalufornyu. Kwong: kumpanyunship with dhv Teehun on trips umvng dhv mountunz. Fulosufiezing. Meeting with dhv grizly ber and witnusing hiz dosiluty at Kwong’z kumand.

Chaptur II

The Lothinian Brotherhood. Reclamation of one on the wrong path. The mystic note. Offer to sell his mine; reason, want to go “home.” The mountain lion and the deer. Visit to the Sach in Mount Shasta. Description of the lodge-room.

Dhv Lothineun Brvdhurhwd. Reklumaeshun uv wvn on dhv rong path. Dhv Mistik noet. Ofur to sel hiz mien; reezun, wvnt to go “hoem.” Dhv mountun liun and dhv dir. Vizut to dhv Sach in Mount Shasta. Diskripshun uv dhv loj-room.

Chaptur III

Pentecostal address of Mendocus, Master. Invocation ceremonies. A visitor from Pertoz–Mol Lang–“has come to induct one of their number, Quong, into the ‘land of the departed,’ and another, Walter Pierson, or ‘Phylos,’ to take home with himself.”

Pentukostul adres uv Mendoekus, Mastur. Invoekaeshun serumoenyz. A vizutur frvm Pvrtoz—Mol Lang—”haz kvm to indvkt wvn uv dheir nvmbur, Kwong, into dhv ‘land uv dhv dipartud,’ and unvdhur, Waultur Pirsun, or ‘Fieloes,’ to taek hoem with himself.”

Chaptur IV

Visit to one enjoying life’s rewards in the astral life; “As a man soweth so shall he reap.” Visit to a Devachanic home. Temporary return to earth. Difference between Devachanic concepts and the objects conceived of. Who was the daughter?

Vizut to wvn enjoiing lief’s riwordz in dhe astrul lief; “Az a man soeuth so shal he reep.” Vizut to a Devuchonik hoem. Tempurery ritvrn to vrth. Difuruns bitween Devuchonik konsepts and dhe objikts kunseevd uv. Hoo wvz dhv dautur?

Chaptur V

Mol Lang is home in Hesper. ” It is good to be at home again.” Meeting with Phyris, his Alter Ego.

Mol Lang iz hoem in Hespur. “It iz gwd to be at hoem ugen.” Meeting with Fierus, hiz aultur Eegoe.

Chaptur VI

Sohma’s teachings. The better methods. The key to all wisdom. Phyris’ thought creations. In the library. Books transported from earth to Hesper–(Venus.) Magic glasses. Magical growing of fruits through the power of the symbol.

Soemu’z teechingz. Dhv betur methudz. Dhv kee to aul wizdum. Fierus’z thaut kreashunz. In dhv liebrery. Bwks transportud frvm vrth to Hespur—(Veenus.) Majik glasuz. Majikul groeing uv froots throo dhv pour uv dhv simbul.

Chaptur VII

Phyris’ magical painting which was a prophecy. Mol Lang’s teachings. Why it is more wrong to take animal life than vegetable life. “Thou canst not compensate the animal for its lost opportunities, but a plant thou mayest.” Farewell of Mol Lang. Other inhabitants of

Fierus’z majikul paenting which wvz a profusy. Mol Lang’z teechingz. Whie it iz mor rong to taek anumul lief dhan vejutubul lief. “Dhou kanst not kompunsaet dhe anumul for its lost opurtoonutyz, bvt a plant dhou maeust.” Ferwel uv Mol Lang. Vdhur inhabutunts uv

Hesper. A heritor of many lives. Faith replaced by knowledge. Of such is the kingdom of heaven. Phyris tells him of previous lives, but says that he will forget them “until he comes again.” She teaches of the Crisis of Transfiguration. She takes him back to the Sagum in Mt. Shasta. Parting for a little time.

Hespur. A herutur uv meny lievz. Faeth riplaesd by nolij. Uv svch iz dhv kingdum uv hevun. Fierus telz him uv preveus lievz, bvt sez dhat he wil forget dhem “until he kvmz ugn.” She teechuz uv dhv Kriesus uv Transfigyuraeshun. She taeks him bak to dhv Saegum in Mt. Shastu. Parting for a litul tiem.

Chaptur VIII

Awaking in the Sagum. Taking up earth-life again. “Do unto others as thou wouldst be done by.” Sale of the mine. Travel. Meeting with Lizzie, the reclaimed one. Home to Washington. Marriage.

Uwaekuning in dhv Saegum. Taeking vp vrth-lief ugen. “Do unto vdhurz az dhou wwdst be dvn by.” Sael uv dhv mien. Travul. Meeting with Lizy, dhv ryklaemd wvn. Hoem to Woshingtun. Marrij.

Chaptur IX

A little retrospection–Meeting with the chela in Hindostan–a message from Mendocus. Stirring of Hesperian memories. Remembrance of a visit to the Sun with Sohma. The Navaz currents. Discontent with life. Death of little daughters. Starting on a sea voyage with Elizabeth. Storm and wreck and–Death. Home again to Pertoz. Home, now; Earth, with its ills, left behind forever, and Karma satisfied.

A litul retruspekshun-Meeting wigh dhv cheelu in Hindustan—a mesij frvm Mendukus. Stvring uv Hespvreun memuryz. Rimembruns uv a vizut to dhv Svn with Soemu. Dhv Navaz kvrunts. Diskuntent with lief. Deth uv litul dauturz. Starting on a see voiij with Ilizubuth. Storm and rek and—Deth. Hoem ugen to Pvrtoz. Hoem, nou; Vrth, with its ilz, left bihiend forevur, and Karmu satusfied.

Chaptur X

After the years, returned. Phyris as tutor and guide. Creation of a body for use in Hesperus. Teaching by the Voice of the Spirit. “Go into the Holy Place.”

Aftur dhv yirz, ritvrnd. Fierus az tootur and gied. Kreaeshun uv a body for ues in Hespurus. Teeching by dhv Vois uv dhv Spirut. “Go into dhv Hoely Plaes.”

Chaptur XI

“To be or not to be! That is the question.” The critical ordeal–temptation met and conquered.

“To be or not to be! Dhat iz dhv kweschun.” Dhv kritikul ordeel—temptaeshun met and konkurd.

 

BOOK III

BWK III

Chaptur I

“Ye shall reap as ye have sown.” Perception.

“Ye shal reep az ye hav soen.” Pursepshun.

Chaptur II

Victory and Praise. Life ended. Being just begun.     

Viktury and Praez. Lief endud. Being jvst bigvn.

Chaptur III

Retrospection: Phyris and Phylos scan their Atlantean lives–Lolix and Elizabeth.

Retruspekshun: Fierus and Fieloes skan dheir Utlanteun lievz—Loliks and Ilizubuth.

Chaptur IV

The decline of Atlantis during several thousand years. Decadence of Science. Aerial navigation and many scientific instruments forgotten. National depravity and ruin. Blood sacrifice in religion. Beginning of human sacrifice. Disappearance of the Maxin Book and the Unfed

Dhv diklien uv Utlantus dvring sevur thouzund yirz. Dekuduns uv Siuns. Ereul navugaeshun and meny siuntifik instrumunts forgotun. Nashunul dipravuty and rooun. Blvd sakrufies in rilijun. Bigining uv huemun sakrufies. Disupiruns uv dhv Maksun Bwk and dhe Unfed

Light. Earthquake and deluge and sinking of Atlantis. Retrospective look at the time of Zailm in the continent of Lemuria, ages before Atlantis. Captives offered up to the gods. A sacrifice for love.

Liet. Vrthkwaek and deluej and sinking uv Utlantus. Retruspektiv lwk at dhv tiem uv Zaelm in dhv kontununt uv Limuereu, aejuz bifoer Utlantus. Kaptivz ofurd vp to dhv godz. A sakrufies for luv.

Chaptur V

Karmic retrospection: “Man’s inhumanity to man.”

Karmik retruspekshun: “Man’z inhuemanuty to man.”

Chaptur VI

Why Atlantis perished.

Whie Utlantus perishd.

Chaptur VII

The Transfiguration.

Dhv Transfigyuraeshun.

NOET BY DHE AUTHUR

THE MIGHTY CAP STONE

DHV MIETY KAP STOEN

 

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Chapter 2

Contents

THE TIME MACHINE DHV TIEM MUSHEEN
by H.G. Wells by H.G. Wells
Chapter 2 Chaptur 2
I think that at that time none of us quite believed in the Time Machine. The fact is, the Time Traveller was one of those men who are too clever to be believed: you never felt that you saw all round him; you always suspected some subtle reserve, some ingenuity in ambush, behind his lucid frankness. Had Filby shown the model and explained the matter in the Time Traveller’s words, we should have shown him far less scepticism. For we should have perceived his motives; a pork butcher could understand Filby. But the Time Traveller had more than a touch of whim among his elements, and we distrusted him. Things that would have made the frame of a less clever man seemed tricks in his hands. It is a mistake to do things too easily. The serious people who took him seriously never felt quite sure of his deportment; they were somehow aware that trusting their reputations for judgment with him was like furnishing a nursery with egg-shell china. So I don’t think any of us said very much about time travelling in the interval between that Thursday and the next, though its odd potentialities ran, no doubt, in most of our minds: its plausibility, that is, its practical incredibleness, the curious possibilities of anachronism and of utter confusion it suggested. For my own part, I was particularly preoccupied with the trick of the model. That I remember discussing with the Medical Man, whom I met on Friday at the Linnaean*. He said he had seen a similar thing at Tubingen, and laid considerable stress on the blowing out of the candle. But how the trick was done he could not explain.

*Referring to  the Swedish botanist Linnaeus.

**A town in central Baden-Württemberg, Germany.

I think at dhat tiem nvn uv vs kwiet bileevd in dhv Tiem Musheen. Dhv fakt iz, dhv Tiem Travulur wvz wvn uv dhoez men hoo ar too klevur to be bileevd: yoo nevur felt dhat yoo sau aul round him; yoo aulwaez suspektud svm svtul rizvrv, svm injunoouty in ambwsh, bihiend hiz loosud franknus. Had Filby shoen dhv modul and eksplaend dhv matur in dhv Tiem Travulur’z wvrdz, we shwd hav shoen him far les skeptusizum. For we shwd hav purseevd hiz moetuvz; a pork bwchur kwd undurstand Filby. Bvt dhv Tiem Travulur had mor dhan a tvch uv whim umvng hiz elumunts, and we distrvstud him. Thingz dhat wwd hav maed dhv fraem uv a les klevur man seemd triks in hiz handz. It iz a mustaek to do thingz too eezuly. Dhv sireus peepul hoo twk him sireusly nevur felt kwiet shwr uv hiz diportmunt; dhae wvr svmhou uwer dhat trvsting dheir repyutaeshunz for jvjmunt with him wvz like fvrnishing a nvrsury with eg-shel chienu. So I doent think eny uv vs sed very mvch ubout tiem travuling in dhe inturvul bitween dhat Thvrzdae and dhv nekst, dhoe its od putenchealutyz ran, no dout, in moest uv our miendz: its plauzubiluty, dhat iz, its praktikul inkredubulnus, dhv kywreus posubilutyz uv unakrunizum and uv vtur kunfuezhun it sugjestud. For mie oen part, I wvz purtikyulurly preokyupied with dhv trik uv dhv modul. Dhat I rimembur diskvsing with dhv Medikul Man, hoom I met on Friedae at dhv Lineun. He sed he had seen a simulur thing at Toobingun**, and laed kunsidurubul stres on dhv bloeing out uv dhv kandul. Bvt hou dhv trik wvz dvn he kwd not eksplaen.

*Rifvring to dhv Sweedish botunust Linnaeus.

**A toun in sentrul Baedun-Wvrtumburg, Jvrmuny.

The next Thursday I went again to Richmond–I suppose I was one of the Time Traveller’s most constant guests–and, arriving late, found four or five men already assembled in his drawing-room. The Medical Man was standing before the fire with a sheet of paper in one hand and his watch in the other. I looked round for the Time Traveller, and–`It’s half-past seven now,’ said the Medical Man. `I suppose we’d better have dinner?’ Dhv nekst Thvrzdae I went ugen to Richmund—I supoez I wvz wvn uv  dhv Tiem Travulur’z moest konstunt gests—and, urieving laet, found faur or fiev men aulredy usembuld in hiz drauing-room. Dhv Medikul Man wvz standing bifoer dhv fier with a sheet uv paepur in wvn hand and hiz wach in dhe vdhur. I lwkd round for dhv Tiem Travulur, and—’It’s haf-past sevun nou,’ sed dhv Medikul Man. ‘I supoez we’d betur hav dinur?’
`Where’s—-?’ said I, naming our host. ‘Wher’z—-?’ sed I, naeming our hoest.
`You’ve just come? It’s rather odd. He’s unavoidably detained. He asks me in this note to lead off with dinner at seven if he’s not back. Says he’ll explain when he comes.’ ‘Yoo’v jvst kvm? It’s radhur od. He’z unuvoidubly ditaend. He asks me in dhis noet to leed off with dinur at sevun if he’z not bak. Sez he’l eksplaen when he kvmz.’
`It seems a pity to let the dinner spoil,’ said the Editor of a well-known daily paper; and thereupon the Doctor rang the bell.  ‘It seemz a pity to let dhv dinur spoil,’ sed dhe Edutur uv a wel-knoen daely paepur; and dherupon dhv Doktur rang dhv bel.
The Psychologist was the only person besides the Doctor and myself who had attended the previous dinner. The other men were Blank, the Editor aforementioned, a certain journalist, and another–a quiet, shy man with a beard–whom I didn’t know, and who, as far as my observation went, never opened his mouth all the evening. There was some speculation at the dinner-table about the Time Traveller’s absence, and I suggested time travelling, in a half-jocular spirit. The Editor wanted that explained to him, and the Psychologist volunteered a wooden account of the `ingenious paradox and trick’ we had witnessed that day week. He was in the midst of his exposition when the door from the corridor opened slowly and without noise. I was facing the door, and saw it first. `Hallo!’ I said. `At last!’ And the door opened wider, and the Time Traveller stood before us. I gave a cry of surprise. `Good heavens! man, what’s the matter?’ cried the Medical Man, who saw him next. And the whole tableful turned towards the door. Dhv Siekolujust wvz dhe oenly pvrsun bisiedz dhv Doktur and mieself hoo had utendud dhv preeveus dinur. Dhe vdhur men wvr Bland, dhe Edutur ufoermenchund, a svrtun jvrnulust, and unvdhur—a kwiut, shie man with a bird—hoom I didn’t knoe, and hoo, az far az mie obzurvaeshun went, nevur oepund hiz mouth aul dhv eevning. Dher wvz svm spekyulaeshun at dhv dinur-taebul ubout dhv Tiem Travulur’z absuns, and I sugjestud tiem travuling, in a haf-jokyulur spirut. Dhe Edutur wvntud dhat eksplaend to him, and dhv Siekolujust voluntird a wwdun ukount uv dhe ‘injeeneus parrudoks and trik’ we had witnusd dhat dae week. He wvz in dhv midst uv hiz ekspuzishun when dhv dor frvm dhv korudor oepund sloely and without noiz. I wvz faesing dhv dor, and sau it fvrst. ‘Haloe!’ I sed. ‘At last!’ And dhv dor oepund wiedur, and dhv Tiem Travulur stwd bifoer vs. I gaev a krie uv surpriez. ‘Gwd hevunz! Man, whot’s dhv matur?’ kried dhv Medikul Man, hoo sau him nekst. And dhv hoel taebulful tvrnd tuwordz dhv dor.
He was in an amazing plight. His coat was dusty and dirty, and smeared with green down the sleeves; his hair disordered, and as it seemed to me greyer–either with dust and dirt or because its colour had actually faded. His face was ghastly pale; his chin had a brown cut on it–a cut half healed; his expression was haggard and drawn, as by intense suffering. For a moment he hesitated in the doorway, as if he had been dazzled by the light. Then he came into the room. He walked with just such a limp as I have seen in footsore tramps. We stared at him in silence, expecting him to speak. He wvz in an umaezing pliet. Hiz koet wvz dvsty and dvrty, and smird with green doun dhv sleevz; hiz her disordurd, and az it seemd to me graer—eedhur with dvst and dvrt or bikauz its kvlur had aktuuly faedud. Hiz faes wvz gastly pael; hiz chin had a broun kvt on it—a kvt haf heeld; hiz ekspreshun wvz hagurd and draun, az by intens svfuring. For a moemunt he hezutaetud in dhv dorwae, az if he had bin dazuld by dhv liet. Dhen he kaem into dhv room. He waulkd with jvst svch a limp az I hav seen in fwtsor tramps. We sterd at him in sieluns, ekspekting him to speek.
He said not a word, but came painfully to the table, and made a motion towards the wine. The Editor filled a glass of champagne, and pushed it towards him. He drained it, and it seemed to do him good: for he looked round the table, and the ghost of his old smile flickered across his face. `What on earth have you been up to, man?’ said the Doctor. The Time Traveller did not seem to hear. `Don’t let me disturb you,’ he said, with a certain faltering articulation. `I’m all right.’ He stopped, held out his glass for more, and took it off at a draught. `That’s good,’ he said. His eyes grew brighter, and a faint colour came into his cheeks. His glance flickered over our faces with a certain dull approval, and then went round the warm and comfortable room. Then he spoke again, still as it were feeling his way among his words. `I’m going to wash and dress, and then I’ll come down and explain things. . . Save me some of that mutton. I’m starving for a bit of meat.’ He sed not a wvrd, bvt kam paenfuly to dhv taebul, and maed a moeshun tuwords dhv wien. Dhe Edutur fild a glas uv shampaen, and pwshd it tuwordz him. He draend it, and it seemd  to do him gwd: for he lwkd round dhv taebul, and dhv goest uv hiz oeld smiel flikurd ukros hiz faes. ‘Whot on vrth hav yoo bin vp to, man?’ sed dhv Doktur. Dhv Tiem Travulur did not seem to hir. ‘Doent let me distvrb yoo,’ he sed, with a svrtun faulturing artikyulaeshun. ‘I’m aul riet.’ He stopd, held out hiz glas for mor, and twk it off at a draft. ‘Dhat’s gwd,’ he sed. Hiz iez groo brietur, and a faent kvlur kaem into hiz cheeks. Hiz glans flikurd oevur our faesuz with a svrtun dvl uproovul, and dhen went round dhv worm and kvmfurtubul room. Dhen he spoek ugen, stil az it wvr feeling hiz wae umvng hiz wvrdz. ‘I’m going to wash and dres, and dhen I’l kvm doun and eksplaen thingz. . . Saev me svm uv dhat mvtun. I’m starving for a bit uv meet.’
He looked across at the Editor, who was a rare visitor, and hoped he was all right. The Editor began a question. `Tell you presently,’ said the Time Traveller. `I’m–funny! Be all right in a minute.’ He lwkd ukros at dhe Edutur, hoo wvz a rer vizutur, and hoepd he wvz aul riet. Dhe Edutur bigan a kweschun. ‘Tel yoo prezuntly,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur. ‘I’m—fvny! Be aul riet in a minut.’
He put down his glass, and walked towards the staircase door. Again I remarked his lameness and the soft padding sound of his footfall, and standing up in my place, I saw his feet as he went out. He had nothing on them but a pair of tattered blood-stained socks. Then the door closed upon him. I had half a mind to follow, till I remembered how he detested any fuss about himself. For a minute, perhaps, my mind was wool-gathering. Then, ‘Remarkable Behaviour of an Eminent Scientist,’ I heard the Editor say, thinking (after his wont) in headlines. And this brought my attention back to the bright dinner-table. He pwt doun hiz glas, and waulkd tuwords dhv sterkaes dor. Ugen I rimarkd hiz laemnus and dhv soft pading sound uv hiz fwtfaul, and standing vp in mie plaes, I sau hiz feet az he went out. He had nvthing on dhem bvt a per uv taturd blvd-staend soks. Dhen dhv dor kloezd upon him. I had haf a miend to foloe, til I rimemburd hou he ditestud eny fvs ubout himself. For a minut, purhaps, mie miend wvz wwl-gadhuring. Dhen, ‘Rimarkubul Bihaevyur uv an Emununt Siuntust,’ I hvrd dhe Edutur sae, thinking (aftur hiz wont) in hedlienz. And dhis braut mie utenchun bak to dhv briet dinur-taebul.
`What’s the game?’ said the Journalist. `Has he been doing the Amateur Cadger*? I don’t follow.’ I met the eye of the Psychologist, and read my own interpretation in his face. I thought of the Time Traveller limping painfully upstairs. I don’t think any one else had noticed his lameness.

*cager

 ‘Whot’s dhv gaem?’ sed dhv jvrnulust. ‘Haz he bin doing dhe Amuchur Kajur*? I doent foloe.’ I met dhe ie uv dhv Siekolujust, and redd mie oen inturprutaeshun in hiz faes. I thaut uv dhv Tiem Travulur limping paenfuly upsterz. I doent think eny wvn els had noetusd hiz laemnus.

*cager

The first to recover completely from this surprise was the Medical Man, who rang the bell–the Time Traveller hated to have servants waiting at dinner–for a hot plate. At that the Editor turned to his knife and fork with a grunt, and the Silent Man followed suit. The dinner was resumed. Conversation was exclamatory for a little while, with gaps of wonderment; and then the Editor got fervent in his curiosity. `Does our friend eke out his modest income with a crossing? or has he his Nebuchadnezzar phases?’ he inquired. `I feel assured it’s this business of the Time Machine,’ I said, and took up the Psychologist’s account of our previous meeting. The new guests were frankly incredulous. The Editor raised objections. `What was this time travelling? A man couldn’t cover himself with dust by rolling in a paradox, could he?’ And then, as the idea came home to him, he resorted to caricature. Hadn’t they any clothes-brushes in the Future? The Journalist too, would not believe at any price, and joined the Editor in the easy work of heaping ridicule on the whole thing. They were both the new kind of journalist–very joyous, irreverent young men. `Our Special Correspondent in the Day after To-morrow reports,’ the Journalist was saying–or rather shouting–when the Time Traveller came back. He was dressed in ordinary evening clothes, and nothing save his haggard look remained of the change that had startled me. Dhv fvrst to rikuvvur kumpleetly frvm dhis surpriez wvz dhv Medikul Man, hoo rang dhv bel—dhv Tiem Travulur haetud to hav svrvunts waeting at dinur—for a hot plaet. At dhat dhe Edutur tvrnd to hiz nief and fork with a grvnt, and dhv Sielunt Man foloed soot. Dhv dinur wvz rizoomd. Konvursaeshun wvz eksklamutory for a litul whiel, with gaps uv wvndurmunt; and dhen dhe Edutur got fvrvunt in hiz kywreosuty. ‘Dvz our frend eek out hiz modust inkum with a krosing? Or haz he hiz Nebukudnezur faezuz?’ he inkwierd. ‘I feel ushwrd it’s dhis biznuz uv dhv Tiem Musheen,’ I sed, and twk vp dhv Siekolujust’s ukount uv our preeveus meeting. Dhv noo gests wvr frankly inkrejulus. Dhe Edutur raezd ubjekshunz. ‘Whot wvz dhis tiem travuling? A man kwd’nt kuvvur himself with dvst by roeling in a parrudoks, kwd he?’ And dhen, az dhe iedeu kaem hoem to him, he rizortud to kurikuchur. Hadn’t dhae eny  kloedhz-brvshuz in dhv Fuechur? Dhv Jvrnulust too, wwd not bileev at eny pries, and joind dhe Edutur in dhv eezy wvrk uv heeping ridikuel on dhv hoel thing. Dhae wvr boeth dhv noo kiend uv jvrnulust—very joius, irevurunt yvng men. ‘Our Speshul Koruspondunt in dhv Dae aftur Tumoroe riports,’ dhv Jvrnulust wvz saeing—or radhur shouting—when dhv Tiem Travulur kaem bak. He wvz dresd in ordunery eevning kloedhz, and nvthing saev hiz hagurd lwk rimaend uv dhv chaenj dhat had startuld me.
`I say,’ said the Editor hilariously, `these chaps here say you have been travelling into the middle of next week! Tell us all about little Rosebery, will you? What will you take for the lot?’ ‘I sae,’ sed dhe Edutur hilereusly, ‘dheez chaps hir sae yoo hav bin travuling into dhv midul uv nekst week! Tel vs aul ubout litul Roezbery, wil yoo? Whot wil yoo taek for dhv lot?’
The Time Traveller came to the place reserved for him without a word. He smiled quietly, in his old way. `Where’s my mutton?’ he said. `What a treat it is to stick a fork into meat again!’ Dhv Tiem Travulur kaem to dhv plaes rizvrvd for him without a wvrd. He smield kwiutly, in hiz oeld wae. ‘Wher’z mie mvtun?’ he sed. ‘Whot a treet it iz to stik a fork into meet ugen!’
`Story!’ cried the Editor. ‘Story!’ kried dhe Edutur.
`Story be damned!’ said the Time Traveller. `I want something to eat. I won’t say a word until I get some peptone into my arteries. Thanks. And the salt.’ ‘Story be dammd!’sed dhv Tiem Travulur. ‘I wvnt svmthing to eet. I woent sae a wvrd until I get svm peptoen into mie arturyz. Thanks. And dhv sault.’
`One word,’ said I. `Have you been time travelling?’ ‘Wvn wvrd,’ sed I. ‘Hav yoo bin tiem travuling?’
`Yes,’ said the Time Traveller, with his mouth full, nodding his head. ‘Yes,’ sed dhv Tiem travulur, with hiz mouth fwl, noding hiz hed.
`I’d give a shilling a line for a verbatim note,’ said the Editor. The Time Traveller pushed his glass towards the Silent Man and rang it with his fingernail; at which the Silent Man, who had been staring at his face, started convulsively, and poured him wine. The rest of the dinner was uncomfortable. For my own part, sudden questions kept on rising to my lips, and I dare say it was the same with the others. The Journalist tried to relieve the tension by telling anecdotes of Hettie Potter. The Time Traveller devoted his attention to his dinner, and displayed the appetite of a tramp. The Medical Man smoked a cigarette, and watched the Time Traveller through his eyelashes. The Silent Man seemed even more clumsy than usual, and drank champagne with regularity and determination out of sheer nervousness. At last the Time Traveller pushed his plate away, and looked round us. `I suppose I must apologize,’ he said. `I was simply starving. I’ve had a most amazing time.’ He reached out his hand for a cigar, and cut the end. `But come into the smoking-room. It’s too long a story to tell over greasy plates.’ And ringing the bell in passing, he led the way into the adjoining room. ‘I’d giv a shiling a lien for a vurbaetum noet,’ sed dhe Edutur. Dhv Tiem Travulur pwshd hiz glas tuwordz dhv Sielunt Man and rang it with hiz finggurnael; at which dhv Sielunt Man, hoo had bin stering at hiz faes, startud kunvullsivly, and pord him wien. Dhv rest uv dhv dinur wvz unkvmfurtubul. For mie oen part, svdun kweschunz kept on riezing to mie lips, and I der sae it wvz dhv saem with dhe vdhurz. Dhv Jvrnulust tried to rileev dhv tenshun by teling anikdoets uv Hety Potur. Dhv Tiem Travulur divoetud hiz utenchun to hiz dinur, and displaed dhe aputiet uv a tramp. Dhv Medikul Man smoekd a siguret, and wochd dhv Tiem Travulur throo hiz ielashuz. Dhv Sielunt Man seemd eevun mor klvmzy dhan uezuul, and drank shampaen with regyularruty and ditvrmunaeshun out uv shir nvrvusnus. At last dhv Tiem Travulur pwshd hiz plaet uwae, and lwkd round vs. ‘I supoez I mvst upolujiez,’ he sed. ‘I wvz simply starving. I’v had a moest umaezing tiem.’ He reechd out hiz hand for a sigar, and kvt dhe end. ‘Bvt kvm into dhv smoeking-room. It’s too long a story to tel oevur greezy plaets.’ And ringing dhv bel in pasing, he led dhv wae into dhe ujoining room.
`You have told Blank, and Dash, and Chose about the machine?’ he said to me, leaning back in his easy-chair and naming the three new guests. ‘Yoo hav toeld Blank, and Dash, and Choez ubout dhv Musheen?’ he sed to me, leening bak in hiz eezy-cher and naeming dhv three noo gests.
`But the thing’s a mere paradox,’ said the Editor. ‘Bvt dhv thing’z a mir parrudoks,’ sed dhe Edutur.
`I can’t argue to-night. I don’t mind telling you the story, but I can’t argue. I will,’ he went on, `tell you the story of what has happened to me, if you like, but you must refrain from interruptions. I want to tell it. Badly. Most of it will sound like lying. So be it! It’s true–every word of it, all the same. I was in my laboratory at four o’clock, and since then . . . I’ve lived eight days . . . such days as no human being ever lived before! I’m nearly worn out, but I shan’t sleep till I’ve told this thing over to you. Then I shall go to bed. But no interruptions! Is it agreed?’ ‘I kan’t argue tuniet. I doent miend teling yoo dhv story, bvt I kan’t argue. I wil,’ he went on, ‘tel yoo dhv story uv whot haz hapund to me, if yoo like, bvt yoo mvst rifraen frvm inturvpshunz. I wvnt to tel it. Badly. Moest uv it wil sound like lieing. So be it! It’s troo—evry wvrd uv it, aul dhv saem. I wvz in mie labrutory at faur u’klok, and sins dhen . . . I’v livd eit daez . . . svch daez az no huemun being evur livd bifoer! I’m nirly worn out, bvt I shan’t sleep til I’v toeld dhis thing oevur to yoo. Dhen I shal go to bed. Bvt no inturvpshunz! Iz it ugreed?’
`Agreed,’ said the Editor, and the rest of us echoed `Agreed.’ And with that the Time Traveller began his story as I have set it forth. He sat back in his chair at first, and spoke like a weary man. Afterwards he got more animated. In writing it down I feel with only too much keenness the inadequacy of pen and ink –and, above all, my own inadequacy–to express its quality. You read, I will suppose, attentively enough; but you cannot see the speaker’s white, sincere face in the bright circle of the little lamp, nor hear the intonation of his voice. You cannot know how his expression followed the turns of his story! Most of us hearers were in shadow, for the candles in the smoking-room had not been lighted, and only the face of the Journalist and the legs of the Silent Man from the knees downward were illuminated. At first we glanced now and again at each other. After a time we ceased to do that, and looked only at the Time Traveller’s face. ‘Ugreed,’ sed dhe Edutur, and dhv rest uv vs ekoed ‘Ugreed.’ And with dhat dhv Tiem Travulur bigan hiz story az I hav set it forth. He sat bak in hiz cher at fvrst, and spoek like a wiry man. Afturwurdz he got mor anumaetud. In wrieting it doun I feel with oenly too mvch keennus dhe inadikwusy uv pen and ink –and, ubuvv aul, mie oen inadikwusy—to ekspres its kwoluty. Yoo reed, I wil supoez, and utentivly invf; bvt yoo kanot see dhv speekur’z whiet, sinsir faes in dhv briet svrkul uv dhv litul lamp, nor hir dhe intoenaeshun uv hiz vois. Yoo kanot knoe hou hiz ekspreshun foloed dhv tvrnz uv hiz story! Moest uv vs hirurz wvr in shadoe, for dhv kandulz in dhv smoeking-room had not bin lietud, and oenly dhv faes uv dhv Jvrnulust and dhv legz uv dhv Sielunt Man frvm dhv neez dounwvrd wvr iloomunaethd. At fvrst we glansd nou and ugen at eech vdhur. Aftur a tiem we seesd to do dhat, and lwkd oenly at dhv Tiem Travulur’z faes.
`And you cannot move at all in Time, you cannot get away from the present moment.’ ‘And yoo kanot moov at aul in Tiem, yoo kanot get uwae frvm dhv prezunt moemunt.’
`My dear sir, that is just where you are wrong. That is just where the whole world has gone wrong. We are always getting away from the present moment. Our mental existences, which are immaterial and have no dimensions, are passing along the Time-Dimension with a uniform velocity from the cradle to the grave. Just as we should travel down if we began our existence fifty miles above the earth’s surface.’ ‘Mie dir svr, dhat iz jvst wher yoo ar rong. Dhat iz jvst wher dhv hoel wvruld haz gon rong. We ar aulwaez getting uwae frvm dhv prezunt moemunt. Our mentul egzistunsuz, which ar imutireul and hav no dumenshunz, ar pasing ulong dhv Tiem-Dumenshun with a uenuform vulosuty frvm dhv kraedul to dhv graev. Jvst az we shwd travul doun if we bigan our egzistuns fifty mielz ubuvv dhe vrth’s svrfus.’
`But the great difficulty is this,’ interrupted the Psychologist. `You can move about in all directions of Space, but you cannot move about in Time.’ ‘Bvt dhv graet difikulty iz dhis,’ inturvptud dhv Siekolujust. ‘Yoo kan moov ubout in aul durekshunz uv Spaes, bvt yoo kanot moov ubout in Tiem.’
`That is the germ of my great discovery. But you are wrong to say that we cannot move about in Time. For instance, if I am recalling an incident very vividly I go back to the instant of its occurrence: I become absent-minded, as you say. I jump back for a moment. Of course we have no means of staying back for any length of Time, any more than a savage or an animal has of staying six feet above the ground. But a civilized man is better off than the savage in this respect. He can go up against gravitation in a balloon, and why should he not hope that ultimately he may be able to stop or accelerate his drift along the Time-Dimension, or even turn about and travel the other way?’ ‘Dhat iz dhv jvrm uv mie graet diskuvvury. Bvt yoo ar rong to sae dhat we kanot moov ubout in Tiem. For instuns, if I am rykauling an insudunt very vivudly I go bak to dhe instunt uv its ukvruns: I bikvm absunt-miendud, az yoo sae. I jvmp bak for a moemunt. Uv kors we hav no meenz uv staeing bak for eny length uv Tiem, eny mor dhan a savij or an anumul haz uv staeing siks feet ubuvv dhv ground. Bvt a sivuliezd man iz betur off dhan dhv savij in dhis rispekt. He kan go vp ugenst gravutaeshun in a buloon, and whie shwd he not hoep dhat vltumutly he mae be aebul to stop or akseluraet hiz drift ulong dhv Tiem-Dumenshun, or eevun tvrn ubout and travul in dhe vdhur wae?’
`Oh, this,’ began Filby, `is all–‘ ‘Oh, dhis’ bigan Filby, ‘iz aul—’
`Why not?’ said the Time Traveller. ‘Whie not?’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur.
`It’s against reason,’ said Filby. ‘It’s ugest reezun,’ sed Filby.
`What reason?’ said the Time Traveller. ‘Whot reezun?’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur.
`You can show black is white by argument,’ said Filby, `but you will never convince me.’ ‘Yoo kan shoe blak iz whiet by argyumunt,’ sed Filby, ‘bvt yoo wil nevur kunvins me.’
`Possibly not,’ said the Time Traveller. `But now you begin to see the object of my investigations into the geometry of Four Dimensions. Long ago I had a vague inkling of a machine–‘ ‘Posubly not,’ sed dhv Teim Travulur. ‘Bvt nou yoo bigin to see dhe objikt uv mie investugaeshunz into dhv jeomutry uv Faur Dumenshunz. Long ugoe I had a vaeg inkling uv a musheen—’
`To travel through Time!’ exclaimed the Very Young Man. ‘To travul throo Tiem!’ eksklaemd dhv Very Yvng Man.
`That shall travel indifferently in any direction of Space and Time, as the driver determines.’ ‘Dhat shal travul indifuruntly in eny durekshun uv Spaes and Tiem, az dhv drievur ditvrmunz.’
Filby contented himself with laughter. Filby kuntentud himself with laftur.
`But I have experimental verification,’ said the Time Traveller. ‘Bvt I hav ekspirumentul verufikaeshun,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur.
`It would be remarkably convenient for the historian,’ the Psychologist suggested. `One might travel back and verify the accepted account of the Battle of Hastings, for instance!’ ‘It wwd be rimarkubly kunveenyunt for  dhv historeun,’ dhv Siekolujust sugjestud. ‘Wvn miet travul bak and verufie dhe akseptud ukount uv dhv Batul uv Haestingz, for instuns!’
`Don’t you think you would attract attention?’ said the Medical Man. `Our ancestors had no great tolerance for anachronisms.’ ‘Doent yoo think yoo wwd utrakt utenchun?’ sed dhv Medikul Man. ‘Our ansesturz had no graet toluruns for unakrunizumz.’
`One might get one’s Greek from the very lips of Homer and Plato,’ the Very Young Man thought. ‘Wvn miet get wvn’z Greek frvm dhv very lips uv Hoemur and Plaetoe,’ dhv Very Yvng Man thaut.
`In which case they would certainly plough you* for the Little-go**. The German scholars have improved Greek so much.’

*plough you—bury you.

**A particular examination at Cambridge University.

‘In which kaes dhae wwd svrtunly plou yoo for dhv Litul-go**. Dhv Jvrmun skolurz hav improovd Greek so mvch.’

*plou yoo—bery yoo.

**A purtikyulur egzamunaeshun at Kaembrij Uenuvurrsuty.

`Then there is the future,’ said the Very Young Man. `Just think! One might invest all one’s money, leave it to accumulate at interest, and hurry on ahead!’ ‘Dhen dher iz dhv fuechur,’ sed dhv Very Yvng Man. ‘Jvst think! Wvn miet invest aul wvn’z mvny, leev it to ukuemulaet at inturust, and hvry on uhed!’
`To discover a society,’ said I, `erected on a strictly communistic basis.’ [From those who have plenty—to those who have need.] ‘To diskuvvur a susiuty,’ sed I, ‘irektud on a striktly komyunistik baesus.’ [Frvm dhoez hoo hav plenty—to dhoez hoo hav need.]
`Of all the wild extravagant theories!’ began the Psychologist. ‘Uv aul dhv wield ekstravugunt theuryz!’ bigan dhv Siekolujust.
`Yes, so it seemed to me, and so I never talked of it until–‘ ‘Yes, so it seemd to me, and so I nevur taulkd uv it until—’
`Experimental verification!’ cried I. `You are going to verify that?’ ‘Ekspirumentul verufikaeshun!’ kried I. ‘Yoo ar going to verufie dhat?’
`The experiment!’ cried Filby, who was getting brain-weary. ‘Dhe ekspirumunt!’ kried Filby, hoo wvz getting braen-wiry.
`Let’s see your experiment anyhow,’ said the Psychologist, `though it’s all humbug, you know.’ ‘Let’s see yor ekspirumunt enyhou,’ sed dhv Siekolujust, ‘dhoe it’s aul hvmbug, yoo knoe.’
The Time Traveller smiled round at us. Then, still smiling faintly, and with his hands deep in his trousers pockets, he walked slowly out of the room, and we heard his slippers shuffling down the long passage to his laboratory. Dhv Tiem Travulur smield round at vs. Dhen, stil smieling faently, and with hiz handz deep in hiz trouzurz pokuts, he waulkd sloely out uv dhv room, and we hvrd hiz slipurz shvfuling doun dhv long pasij to hiz labrutory.
The Psychologist looked at us. `I wonder what he’s got?’ Dhv Siekolujust lwkd at vs. ‘I wvndur whot he’z got?’
`Some sleight-of-hand trick or other,’ said the Medical Man, and Filby tried to tell us about a conjurer he had seen at Burslem; but before he had finished his preface the Time Traveller came back, and Filby’s anecdote collapsed. ‘Svm sliet-uv-hand trik or vdhur,’ sed dhv Medikul Man, and Filby tried to tel vs ubout a kunjvrur he had seen at Bvrslum; bvt bifoer he had finishd hiz prefus dhv Tiem Travulur kaem bak, and Filby’z anikdoet kulapsd.
The thing the Time Traveller held in his hand was a glittering metallic framework, scarcely larger than a small clock, and very delicately made. There was ivory in it, and some transparent crystalline substance. And now I must be explicit, for this that follows–unless his explanation is to be accepted–is an absolutely unaccountable thing. He took one of the small octagonal tables that were scattered about the room, and set it in front of the fire, with two legs on the hearthrug. On this table he placed the mechanism. Then he drew up a chair, and sat down. The only other object on the table was a small shaded lamp, the bright light of which fell upon the model. There were also perhaps a dozen candles about, two in brass candlesticks upon the mantel and several in sconces, so that the room was brilliantly illuminated. I sat in a low arm-chair nearest the fire, and I drew this forward so as to be almost between the Time Traveller and the fireplace. Filby sat behind him, looking over his shoulder. The Medical Man and the Provincial Mayor watched him in profile from the right, the Psychologist from the left. The Very Young Man stood behind the Psychologist. We were all on the alert. It appears incredible to me that any kind of trick, however subtly conceived and however adroitly done, could have been played upon us under these conditions. Dhv thing dhv Tiem Travulur held in hiz hand wvz a glituring mutalik fraemwurk, skersly larjur dhan a smaul klok, and very delikutly maed. Dher wvz ievury in it, and svm transperunt kristulun svbstuns. And nou I mvst be eksplisut, for dhis dhat foloez—unles hiz eksplunaeshun iz to be akseptud—iz an absulootly unukountubul thing. He twk wvn uv dhv smaul oktagunul taebulz dhat wvr skaturd ubout dhv room, and set it in frvnt uv dhv fier, with two legz on dhv harthrug. On dhis taebul he plaesd dhv mekunizum. Dhen he droo vp a cher, and sat doun. Dhe oenly vdhur objikt on dhv taebul wvz a smaul shaedud lamp, dhv briet liet uv which fel upon dhv modul. Dher wvr aulsoe purhaps a dvzun kandulz ubout, two in bras kandulstiks upon dhv mantul and sevurul in skonsuz, so dhat dhv room wvz brilyuntly iloomunaetud. I sat in a loe arm-cher nirust dhv fier, and I droo dhis forwurd so az to be aulmoest bitween dhv Tiem Travulur and dhv fierplaes. Filby sat bihiend him, lwking oevur hiz shoeldur. Dhv Medikul Man and dhv Pruvinchul Maer wochd him in proefiel frvm dhv riet, dhv Siekolujust frvm dhv left. Dhv Very Yvng Man stwd bihiend dhv Siekolujust. We wvr aul on dhe ulvrt. It upirz inkredubul to me dhat eny kiend uv trik, houevur svtuly kunseevd and houevur udroitly dvn, kwd hav bin plaed upon vs vndur dheez kundishunz.
The Time Traveller looked at us, and then at the mechanism. `Well?’ said the Psychologist. Dhv Tiem Travulur lwkd at vs, and dhen at dhv mekunizum. ‘Wel?’ sed dhv Siekolujust.
`This little affair,’ said the Time Traveller, resting his elbows upon the table and pressing his hands together above the apparatus, `is only a model. It is my plan for a machine to travel through time. You will notice that it looks singularly askew, and that there is an odd twinkling appearance about this bar, as though it was in some way unreal.’ He pointed to the part with his finger. `Also, here is one little white lever, and here is another.’ ‘Dhis litul ufer,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur, resting hiz elboez upon dhv taebul and presing hiz handz tugedhur ubuvv dhe apuratus, ‘iz oenly a modul. It iz mie plan for a musheen to travul throo tiem. Yoo wil noetus dhat it lwks singyulurly uskue, and dhat dher iz an od twinkuling upiruns ubout dhis bar, az dhoe it wvz in svm wae unreel.’ He pointud to dhv part with hiz finggur. ‘aulsoe, hir iz wvn litul whiet levur, and hir iz unvdhur.’
The Medical Man got up out of his chair and peered into the thing. `It’s beautifully made,’ he said. Dhv Medikul Man got vp out uv hiz cher and pird into dhv thing. ‘It’s buetufuly maed,’ he sed.
`It took two years to make,’ retorted the Time Traveller. Then, when we had all imitated the action of the Medical Man, he said: `Now I want you clearly to understand that this lever, being pressed over, sends the machine gliding into the future, and this other reverses the motion. This saddle represents the seat of a time traveller. Presently I am going to press the lever, and off the machine will go. It will vanish, pass into future Time, and disappear. Have a good look at the thing. Look at the table too, and satisfy yourselves there is no trickery. I don’t want to waste this model, and then be told I’m a quack.’ ‘It twk two yirz to maek,’ ritortud dhv Tiem Travulur. Dhen, when we had aul imutaetud dhe akshun uv dhv Medikul Man, he sed: ‘Nou I wvnt yoo klirly to undurstand dhat dhis levur, being presd oevur, sendz dhv musheen glieding into dhv fuechur, and dhis vdhur rivurrsuz dhv moeshun. Dhis sadul repruzents dhv seet uv a tiem travulur. Prezuntly I am going to pres dhv levur, and off dhv musheen wil go. It wil vanish, pas into fuechur Tiem, and disupir. Hav a gwd lwk at dhv thing. Lwk at dhv taebul too, and satusfie yorselvz dher iz no trikury. I doent wvnt to waest dhis modul, and dhen be toeld I’m a kwak.’
There was a minute’s pause perhaps. The Psychologist seemed about to speak to me, but changed his mind. Then the Time Traveller put forth his finger towards the lever. `No,’ he said suddenly. `Lend me your hand.’ And turning to the Psychologist, he took that individual’s hand in his own and told him to put out his forefinger. So that it was the Psychologist himself who sent forth the model Time Machine on its interminable voyage. We all saw the lever turn. I am absolutely certain there was no trickery. There was a breath of wind, and the lamp flame jumped. One of the candles on the mantel was blown out, and the little machine suddenly swung round, became indistinct, was seen as a ghost for a second perhaps, as an eddy of faintly glittering brass and ivory; and it was gone–vanished! Save for the lamp the table was bare. Dher wvz a minut’s pauz purhaps. Dhv Siekolujust seemd ubout to speek to me, bvt chaenjd hiz miend. Dhen dhv Tiem Travulur pwt forth hiz finggur tuwordz dhv levur. ‘No,’ he sed svdunly. ‘Lend me yor hand.’ And tvrning to dhv Siekolujust, he twk dhat induviduul’z hand in hiz own and toeld him to pwt out hiz foerfinggur. So dhat it wvz dhv Siekolujust himself hoo sent forth dhv modul Tiem Musheen on its intvrmunubul voiij. We aul sau dhv levur tvrn. I am absulootly svrtun dher wvz no trikury. Dher wvz a breth uv wind, and dhv lamp flaem jvmpd. Wvn uv dhv kandulz on dhv mantul wvz bloen out, and dhv litul musheen svdunly swvng round, bikaem indistinkt, wvz seen az a goest for a sekund purhaps, az an edy uv faently glituring bras and ievury; and it wvz gon—vanishd! Saev for dhv lamp dhv taebul wvz ber.
Everyone was silent for a minute. Then Filby said he was damned. Evrywun wvz sielunt for a minut. Dhen Filby sed he wvz dammd.
The Psychologist recovered from his stupor, and suddenly looked under the table. At that the Time Traveller laughed cheerfully. `Well?’ he said, with a reminiscence of the Psychologist. Then, getting up, he went to the tobacco jar on the mantel, and with his back to us began to fill his pipe. Dhv Siekolujust rikuvvurd frvm hiz stoopur, and svdunly lwkd vndur dhv taebul. At dhat dhv Tiem Travulur lafd chirfuly. ‘Wel?’ he sed, with a remunisuns uv dhv Siekolujust. Dhen, getting vp, he went to dhv tubakoe jar on dhv mantul, and with hiz bak to vs bigan to fil hiz piep.
We stared at each other. `Look here,’ said the Medical Man, `are you in earnest about this? Do you seriously believe that that machine has travelled into time?’ We sterd at eech vdhur. ‘Lwk hir,’ sed dhv Medikul Man, ‘ar yoo in vrnust ubout dhis? Do yoo sireusly bileev dhat dhat musheen haz travuld into tiem?’
`Certainly,’ said the Time Traveller, stooping to light a spill at the fire. Then he turned, lighting his pipe, to look at the Psychologist’s face. (The Psychologist, to show that he was not unhinged, helped himself to a cigar and tried to light it uncut.) `What is more, I have a big machine nearly finished in there’–he indicated the laboratory–`and when that is put together I mean to have a journey on my own account.’ ‘Svrtunly,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur, stooping to liet a spil at dhv fier. Dhen he tvrnd, lieting hiz piep, to lwk at dhv Siekolujust’s faes. (Dhv Siekolujust, to shoe dhat he wvz not unhinjd, helpd himself to a sigar and tried to liet it unkvt.) ‘Whot iz mor, I hav a big musheen nirly finishd in dher’—he indikaetud dhv labrutory—’and when dhat iz pwt tugedhur I meen to hav a jvrny on mie oen ukount.’
`You mean to say that that machine has travelled into the future?’ said Filby. ‘Yoo meen to sae dhat dhat musheen haz travuld into dhv fuechur?’ sed Filby.
`Into the future or the past–I don’t, for certain, know which.’ ‘Into dhv fuechur or dhv past—I doent, for svrtun, knoe which.’
After an interval the Psychologist had an inspiration. `It must have gone into the past if it has gone anywhere,’ he said. Aftur an inturvul dhv Siekolujust had an inspuraeshun. ‘It mvst hav gon into dhv past if it haz gon enywher,’ he sed.
`Why?’ said the Time Traveller. ‘Whie?’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur.
`Because I presume that it has not moved in space, and if it travelled into the future it would still be here all this time, since it must have travelled through this time.’ ‘Bikauz I prizoom dhat it haz not moovd in spaes, and if it travuld into dhv fuechur it wwd stil be hir aul dhis tiem, sins it mvst hav travuld throo dhis tiem.’
`But,’ I said, `If it travelled into the past it would have been visible when we came first into this room; and last Thursday when we were here; and the Thursday before that; and so forth!’ ‘Bvt,’ I sed, ‘if it travuld into dhv past it wwd hav bin vizubul when we kaem fvrst into dhis room; and last Thvrzdae when we wvr hir; and dhv Thvrzdae bifoer dhat; and so forth!’
`Serious objections,’ remarked the Provincial Mayor, with an air of impartiality, turning towards the Time Traveller. ‘Sireus ubjekshunz,’ rimarkd dhv Pruvinchul Maer, with an er uv imparshealuty, tvrning tuwordz dhv Tiem Travulur.
`Not a bit,’ said the Time Traveller, and, to the Psychologist: `You think. You can explain that. It’s presentation below the threshold, you know, diluted presentation.’ ‘Not a bit,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur, and, to dhv Siekolujust: ‘Yoo think. Yoo kan eksplaen dhat. It’s prezuntaeshun biloe dhv threshhoeld, yoo knoe, dielootud prezuntaeshun.’
`Of course,’ said the Psychologist, and reassured us. `That’s a simple point of psychology. I should have thought of it. It’s plain enough, and helps the paradox delightfully. We cannot see it, nor can we appreciate this machine, any more than we can the spoke of a wheel spinning, or a bullet flying through the air. If it is travelling through time fifty times or a hundred times faster than we are, if it gets through a minute while we get through a second, the impression it creates will of course be only one-fiftieth or one-hundredth of what it would make if it were not travelling in time. That’s plain enough.’ He passed his hand through the space in which the machine had been. `You see?’ he said, laughing. ‘Uv kors,’ sed dhv Siekolujust, and reushwrd vs. ‘Dhat’s a simpul point uv siekolujy. I shwd hav thaut uv it. It’s plaen invf, and helps dhv parrudoks dilietfuly. We kanot see it, nor kan we upreesheaet dhis musheen, eny mor dhan we kan dhv spoek uv a wheel spining, or a bwlut flieing throo dhe er. If it iz travuling throo tiem fifty tiemz or a hvndrud tiemz fastur dhan we ar, if it gets throo a minut whiel we get throo a sekund, dhe impreshun it kreates wil uv kors be oenly wvn-fiftyuth or wvn-hvndrudth uv whot it wwd maek if it wvr not travuling in tiem. Dhat’s plaen invf.’ He pasd hiz hand throo dhv spaes in which dhv musheen had bin. ‘Yoo see?’ he sed, lafing.
We sat and stared at the vacant table for a minute or so. Then the Time Traveller asked us what we thought of it all. We sat and sterd at dhv vaekunt taebul for a minut or so. Dhen dhv Tiem Travulur askd vs whot we thaut uv it aul.
`It sounds plausible enough to-night,’ said the Medical Man; ‘but wait until to-morrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.’ ‘It soundz plauzubul invf tunoet,’ sed dhv Medikul Man; ‘bvt waet until tumoroe. Waet for dhv komun sens uv dhv morning.
`Would you like to see the Time Machine itself?’ asked the Time Traveller. And therewith, taking the lamp in his hand, he led the way down the long, draughty corridor to his laboratory. I remember vividly the flickering light, his queer, broad head in silhouette, the dance of the shadows, how we all followed him, puzzled but incredulous, and how there in the laboratory we beheld a larger edition of the little mechanism which we had seen vanish from before our eyes. Parts were of nickel, parts of ivory, parts had certainly been filed or sawn out of rock crystal. The thing was generally complete, but the twisted crystalline bars lay unfinished upon the bench beside some sheets of drawings, and I took one up for a better look at it. Quartz it seemed to be. ‘Wwd yoo like to see dhv Tiem Musheen itself?’ askd dhv Tiem Travulur. And dherwith, taeking dhv lamp in hiz hand, he led dhv wae doun dhv long, drafty korudor to hiz labrutory. I rimembur vivudly dhv flikuring liet, hiz kwir, braud hed in siluwet, dhv dans uv dhv shadoez, hou we aul foloed him, pvzuld bvt inkredyulus, and hou dher in dhv labrutory we biheld a larjur udishun uv dhv litul mekunizum which we had seen vanish frvm bifoer our iez. Parts wvr uv nikul, parts uv ievury, parts had svrtunly bin field or saun out uv rok kristul. Dhv thing wvz jenuruly kumpleet, bvt dhv twistud kristulun barz lae unfinishd upon dhv bench bisied svm sheets uv drauingz, and I twk wvn vp for a betur lwk at it. Kworts it seemd to be.
`Look here,’ said the Medical Man, `are you perfectly serious? Or is this a trick–like that ghost you showed us last Christmas?’ ‘Lwk hir,’ sed dhv Medikul Man, ‘ar yoo purfiktly sireus? Or iz dhis a trik-like dhat goest yoo shoed vs last Krismus?’
`Upon that machine,’ said the Time Traveller, holding the lamp aloft, `I intend to explore time. Is that plain? I was never more serious in my life.’ ‘Upon dhat musheen,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur, hoelding dhv lamp uloft, ‘I intend to eksplor tiem. Iz dhat plaen? I wvz nevur mor sireus in mie lief.’
None of us quite knew how to take it. Nvn uv vs kwiet knoo hou to taek it.
I caught Filby’s eye over the shoulder of the Medical Man, and he winked at me solemnly. I kaut Filby’z ie oevur dhv shoeldur uv dhv Medikul Man, and he winkd at me solumly.

 

 

 

 

THE TIME MACHINE DHV TIEM MUSHEEN
by H.G. Wells by H.G. Wells
Chapter 2 Chaptur 2
I think that at that time none of us quite believed in the Time Machine. The fact is, the Time Traveller was one of those men who are too clever to be believed: you never felt that you saw all round him; you always suspected some subtle reserve, some ingenuity in ambush, behind his lucid frankness. Had Filby shown the model and explained the matter in the Time Traveller’s words, we should have shown him far less scepticism. For we should have perceived his motives; a pork butcher could understand Filby. But the Time Traveller had more than a touch of whim among his elements, and we distrusted him. Things that would have made the frame of a less clever man seemed tricks in his hands. It is a mistake to do things too easily. The serious people who took him seriously never felt quite sure of his deportment; they were somehow aware that trusting their reputations for judgment with him was like furnishing a nursery with egg-shell china. So I don’t think any of us said very much about time travelling in the interval between that Thursday and the next, though its odd potentialities ran, no doubt, in most of our minds: its plausibility, that is, its practical incredibleness, the curious possibilities of anachronism and of utter confusion it suggested. For my own part, I was particularly preoccupied with the trick of the model. That I remember discussing with the Medical Man, whom I met on Friday at the Linnaean*. He said he had seen a similar thing at Tubingen, and laid considerable stress on the blowing out of the candle. But how the trick was done he could not explain.

*Referring to  the Swedish botanist Linnaeus.

**A town in central Baden-Württemberg, Germany.

I think at dhat tiem nvn uv vs kwiet bileevd in dhv Tiem Musheen. Dhv fakt iz, dhv Tiem Travulur wvz wvn uv dhoez men hoo ar too klevur to be bileevd: yoo nevur felt dhat yoo sau aul round him; yoo aulwaez suspektud svm svtul rizvrv, svm injunoouty in ambwsh, bihiend hiz loosud franknus. Had Filby shoen dhv modul and eksplaend dhv matur in dhv Tiem Travulur’z wvrdz, we shwd hav shoen him far les skeptusizum. For we shwd hav purseevd hiz moetuvz; a pork bwchur kwd undurstand Filby. Bvt dhv Tiem Travulur had mor dhan a tvch uv whim umvng hiz elumunts, and we distrvstud him. Thingz dhat wwd hav maed dhv fraem uv a les klevur man seemd triks in hiz handz. It iz a mustaek to do thingz too eezuly. Dhv sireus peepul hoo twk him sireusly nevur felt kwiet shwr uv hiz diportmunt; dhae wvr svmhou uwer dhat trvsting dheir repyutaeshunz for jvjmunt with him wvz like fvrnishing a nvrsury with eg-shel chienu. So I doent think eny uv vs sed very mvch ubout tiem travuling in dhe inturvul bitween dhat Thvrzdae and dhv nekst, dhoe its od putenchealutyz ran, no dout, in moest uv our miendz: its plauzubiluty, dhat iz, its praktikul inkredubulnus, dhv kywreus posubilutyz uv unakrunizum and uv vtur kunfuezhun it sugjestud. For mie oen part, I wvz purtikyulurly preokyupied with dhv trik uv dhv modul. Dhat I rimembur diskvsing with dhv Medikul Man, hoom I met on Friedae at dhv Lineun. He sed he had seen a simulur thing at Toobingun**, and laed kunsidurubul stres on dhv bloeing out uv dhv kandul. Bvt hou dhv trik wvz dvn he kwd not eksplaen.

*Rifvring to dhv Sweedish botunust Linnaeus.

**A toun in sentrul Baedun-Wvrtumburg, Jvrmuny.

The next Thursday I went again to Richmond–I suppose I was one of the Time Traveller’s most constant guests–and, arriving late, found four or five men already assembled in his drawing-room. The Medical Man was standing before the fire with a sheet of paper in one hand and his watch in the other. I looked round for the Time Traveller, and–`It’s half-past seven now,’ said the Medical Man. `I suppose we’d better have dinner?’ Dhv nekst Thvrzdae I went ugen to Richmund—I supoez I wvz wvn uv  dhv Tiem Travulur’z moest konstunt gests—and, urieving laet, found faur or fiev men aulredy usembuld in hiz drauing-room. Dhv Medikul Man wvz standing bifoer dhv fier with a sheet uv paepur in wvn hand and hiz wach in dhe vdhur. I lwkd round for dhv Tiem Travulur, and—’It’s haf-past sevun nou,’ sed dhv Medikul Man. ‘I supoez we’d betur hav dinur?’
`Where’s—-?’ said I, naming our host. ‘Wher’z—-?’ sed I, naeming our hoest.
`You’ve just come? It’s rather odd. He’s unavoidably detained. He asks me in this note to lead off with dinner at seven if he’s not back. Says he’ll explain when he comes.’ ‘Yoo’v jvst kvm? It’s radhur od. He’z unuvoidubly ditaend. He asks me in dhis noet to leed off with dinur at sevun if he’z not bak. Sez he’l eksplaen when he kvmz.’
`It seems a pity to let the dinner spoil,’ said the Editor of a well-known daily paper; and thereupon the Doctor rang the bell.  ‘It seemz a pity to let dhv dinur spoil,’ sed dhe Edutur uv a wel-knoen daely paepur; and dherupon dhv Doktur rang dhv bel.
The Psychologist was the only person besides the Doctor and myself who had attended the previous dinner. The other men were Blank, the Editor aforementioned, a certain journalist, and another–a quiet, shy man with a beard–whom I didn’t know, and who, as far as my observation went, never opened his mouth all the evening. There was some speculation at the dinner-table about the Time Traveller’s absence, and I suggested time travelling, in a half-jocular spirit. The Editor wanted that explained to him, and the Psychologist volunteered a wooden account of the `ingenious paradox and trick’ we had witnessed that day week. He was in the midst of his exposition when the door from the corridor opened slowly and without noise. I was facing the door, and saw it first. `Hallo!’ I said. `At last!’ And the door opened wider, and the Time Traveller stood before us. I gave a cry of surprise. `Good heavens! man, what’s the matter?’ cried the Medical Man, who saw him next. And the whole tableful turned towards the door. Dhv Siekolujust wvz dhe oenly pvrsun bisiedz dhv Doktur and mieself hoo had utendud dhv preeveus dinur. Dhe vdhur men wvr Bland, dhe Edutur ufoermenchund, a svrtun jvrnulust, and unvdhur—a kwiut, shie man with a bird—hoom I didn’t knoe, and hoo, az far az mie obzurvaeshun went, nevur oepund hiz mouth aul dhv eevning. Dher wvz svm spekyulaeshun at dhv dinur-taebul ubout dhv Tiem Travulur’z absuns, and I sugjestud tiem travuling, in a haf-jokyulur spirut. Dhe Edutur wvntud dhat eksplaend to him, and dhv Siekolujust voluntird a wwdun ukount uv dhe ‘injeeneus parrudoks and trik’ we had witnusd dhat dae week. He wvz in dhv midst uv hiz ekspuzishun when dhv dor frvm dhv korudor oepund sloely and without noiz. I wvz faesing dhv dor, and sau it fvrst. ‘Haloe!’ I sed. ‘At last!’ And dhv dor oepund wiedur, and dhv Tiem Travulur stwd bifoer vs. I gaev a krie uv surpriez. ‘Gwd hevunz! Man, whot’s dhv matur?’ kried dhv Medikul Man, hoo sau him nekst. And dhv hoel taebulful tvrnd tuwordz dhv dor.
He was in an amazing plight. His coat was dusty and dirty, and smeared with green down the sleeves; his hair disordered, and as it seemed to me greyer–either with dust and dirt or because its colour had actually faded. His face was ghastly pale; his chin had a brown cut on it–a cut half healed; his expression was haggard and drawn, as by intense suffering. For a moment he hesitated in the doorway, as if he had been dazzled by the light. Then he came into the room. He walked with just such a limp as I have seen in footsore tramps. We stared at him in silence, expecting him to speak. He wvz in an umaezing pliet. Hiz koet wvz dvsty and dvrty, and smird with green doun dhv sleevz; hiz her disordurd, and az it seemd to me graer—eedhur with dvst and dvrt or bikauz its kvlur had aktuuly faedud. Hiz faes wvz gastly pael; hiz chin had a broun kvt on it—a kvt haf heeld; hiz ekspreshun wvz hagurd and draun, az by intens svfuring. For a moemunt he hezutaetud in dhv dorwae, az if he had bin dazuld by dhv liet. Dhen he kaem into dhv room. He waulkd with jvst svch a limp az I hav seen in fwtsor tramps. We sterd at him in sieluns, ekspekting him to speek.
He said not a word, but came painfully to the table, and made a motion towards the wine. The Editor filled a glass of champagne, and pushed it towards him. He drained it, and it seemed to do him good: for he looked round the table, and the ghost of his old smile flickered across his face. `What on earth have you been up to, man?’ said the Doctor. The Time Traveller did not seem to hear. `Don’t let me disturb you,’ he said, with a certain faltering articulation. `I’m all right.’ He stopped, held out his glass for more, and took it off at a draught. `That’s good,’ he said. His eyes grew brighter, and a faint colour came into his cheeks. His glance flickered over our faces with a certain dull approval, and then went round the warm and comfortable room. Then he spoke again, still as it were feeling his way among his words. `I’m going to wash and dress, and then I’ll come down and explain things. . . Save me some of that mutton. I’m starving for a bit of meat.’ He sed not a wvrd, bvt kam paenfuly to dhv taebul, and maed a moeshun tuwords dhv wien. Dhe Edutur fild a glas uv shampaen, and pwshd it tuwordz him. He draend it, and it seemd  to do him gwd: for he lwkd round dhv taebul, and dhv goest uv hiz oeld smiel flikurd ukros hiz faes. ‘Whot on vrth hav yoo bin vp to, man?’ sed dhv Doktur. Dhv Tiem Travulur did not seem to hir. ‘Doent let me distvrb yoo,’ he sed, with a svrtun faulturing artikyulaeshun. ‘I’m aul riet.’ He stopd, held out hiz glas for mor, and twk it off at a draft. ‘Dhat’s gwd,’ he sed. Hiz iez groo brietur, and a faent kvlur kaem into hiz cheeks. Hiz glans flikurd oevur our faesuz with a svrtun dvl uproovul, and dhen went round dhv worm and kvmfurtubul room. Dhen he spoek ugen, stil az it wvr feeling hiz wae umvng hiz wvrdz. ‘I’m going to wash and dres, and dhen I’l kvm doun and eksplaen thingz. . . Saev me svm uv dhat mvtun. I’m starving for a bit uv meet.’
He looked across at the Editor, who was a rare visitor, and hoped he was all right. The Editor began a question. `Tell you presently,’ said the Time Traveller. `I’m–funny! Be all right in a minute.’ He lwkd ukros at dhe Edutur, hoo wvz a rer vizutur, and hoepd he wvz aul riet. Dhe Edutur bigan a kweschun. ‘Tel yoo prezuntly,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur. ‘I’m—fvny! Be aul riet in a minut.’
He put down his glass, and walked towards the staircase door. Again I remarked his lameness and the soft padding sound of his footfall, and standing up in my place, I saw his feet as he went out. He had nothing on them but a pair of tattered blood-stained socks. Then the door closed upon him. I had half a mind to follow, till I remembered how he detested any fuss about himself. For a minute, perhaps, my mind was wool-gathering. Then, ‘Remarkable Behaviour of an Eminent Scientist,’ I heard the Editor say, thinking (after his wont) in headlines. And this brought my attention back to the bright dinner-table. He pwt doun hiz glas, and waulkd tuwords dhv sterkaes dor. Ugen I rimarkd hiz laemnus and dhv soft pading sound uv hiz fwtfaul, and standing vp in mie plaes, I sau hiz feet az he went out. He had nvthing on dhem bvt a per uv taturd blvd-staend soks. Dhen dhv dor kloezd upon him. I had haf a miend to foloe, til I rimemburd hou he ditestud eny fvs ubout himself. For a minut, purhaps, mie miend wvz wwl-gadhuring. Dhen, ‘Rimarkubul Bihaevyur uv an Emununt Siuntust,’ I hvrd dhe Edutur sae, thinking (aftur hiz wont) in hedlienz. And dhis braut mie utenchun bak to dhv briet dinur-taebul.
`What’s the game?’ said the Journalist. `Has he been doing the Amateur Cadger*? I don’t follow.’ I met the eye of the Psychologist, and read my own interpretation in his face. I thought of the Time Traveller limping painfully upstairs. I don’t think any one else had noticed his lameness.

*cager

 ‘Whot’s dhv gaem?’ sed dhv jvrnulust. ‘Haz he bin doing dhe Amuchur Kajur*? I doent foloe.’ I met dhe ie uv dhv Siekolujust, and redd mie oen inturprutaeshun in hiz faes. I thaut uv dhv Tiem Travulur limping paenfuly upsterz. I doent think eny wvn els had noetusd hiz laemnus.

*cager

The first to recover completely from this surprise was the Medical Man, who rang the bell–the Time Traveller hated to have servants waiting at dinner–for a hot plate. At that the Editor turned to his knife and fork with a grunt, and the Silent Man followed suit. The dinner was resumed. Conversation was exclamatory for a little while, with gaps of wonderment; and then the Editor got fervent in his curiosity. `Does our friend eke out his modest income with a crossing? or has he his Nebuchadnezzar phases?’ he inquired. `I feel assured it’s this business of the Time Machine,’ I said, and took up the Psychologist’s account of our previous meeting. The new guests were frankly incredulous. The Editor raised objections. `What was this time travelling? A man couldn’t cover himself with dust by rolling in a paradox, could he?’ And then, as the idea came home to him, he resorted to caricature. Hadn’t they any clothes-brushes in the Future? The Journalist too, would not believe at any price, and joined the Editor in the easy work of heaping ridicule on the whole thing. They were both the new kind of journalist–very joyous, irreverent young men. `Our Special Correspondent in the Day after To-morrow reports,’ the Journalist was saying–or rather shouting–when the Time Traveller came back. He was dressed in ordinary evening clothes, and nothing save his haggard look remained of the change that had startled me. Dhv fvrst to rikuvvur kumpleetly frvm dhis surpriez wvz dhv Medikul Man, hoo rang dhv bel—dhv Tiem Travulur haetud to hav svrvunts waeting at dinur—for a hot plaet. At dhat dhe Edutur tvrnd to hiz nief and fork with a grvnt, and dhv Sielunt Man foloed soot. Dhv dinur wvz rizoomd. Konvursaeshun wvz eksklamutory for a litul whiel, with gaps uv wvndurmunt; and dhen dhe Edutur got fvrvunt in hiz kywreosuty. ‘Dvz our frend eek out hiz modust inkum with a krosing? Or haz he hiz Nebukudnezur faezuz?’ he inkwierd. ‘I feel ushwrd it’s dhis biznuz uv dhv Tiem Musheen,’ I sed, and twk vp dhv Siekolujust’s ukount uv our preeveus meeting. Dhv noo gests wvr frankly inkrejulus. Dhe Edutur raezd ubjekshunz. ‘Whot wvz dhis tiem travuling? A man kwd’nt kuvvur himself with dvst by roeling in a parrudoks, kwd he?’ And dhen, az dhe iedeu kaem hoem to him, he rizortud to kurikuchur. Hadn’t dhae eny  kloedhz-brvshuz in dhv Fuechur? Dhv Jvrnulust too, wwd not bileev at eny pries, and joind dhe Edutur in dhv eezy wvrk uv heeping ridikuel on dhv hoel thing. Dhae wvr boeth dhv noo kiend uv jvrnulust—very joius, irevurunt yvng men. ‘Our Speshul Koruspondunt in dhv Dae aftur Tumoroe riports,’ dhv Jvrnulust wvz saeing—or radhur shouting—when dhv Tiem Travulur kaem bak. He wvz dresd in ordunery eevning kloedhz, and nvthing saev hiz hagurd lwk rimaend uv dhv chaenj dhat had startuld me.
`I say,’ said the Editor hilariously, `these chaps here say you have been travelling into the middle of next week! Tell us all about little Rosebery, will you? What will you take for the lot?’ ‘I sae,’ sed dhe Edutur hilereusly, ‘dheez chaps hir sae yoo hav bin travuling into dhv midul uv nekst week! Tel vs aul ubout litul Roezbery, wil yoo? Whot wil yoo taek for dhv lot?’
The Time Traveller came to the place reserved for him without a word. He smiled quietly, in his old way. `Where’s my mutton?’ he said. `What a treat it is to stick a fork into meat again!’ Dhv Tiem Travulur kaem to dhv plaes rizvrvd for him without a wvrd. He smield kwiutly, in hiz oeld wae. ‘Wher’z mie mvtun?’ he sed. ‘Whot a treet it iz to stik a fork into meet ugen!’
`Story!’ cried the Editor. ‘Story!’ kried dhe Edutur.
`Story be damned!’ said the Time Traveller. `I want something to eat. I won’t say a word until I get some peptone into my arteries. Thanks. And the salt.’ ‘Story be dammd!’sed dhv Tiem Travulur. ‘I wvnt svmthing to eet. I woent sae a wvrd until I get svm peptoen into mie arturyz. Thanks. And dhv sault.’
`One word,’ said I. `Have you been time travelling?’ ‘Wvn wvrd,’ sed I. ‘Hav yoo bin tiem travuling?’
`Yes,’ said the Time Traveller, with his mouth full, nodding his head. ‘Yes,’ sed dhv Tiem travulur, with hiz mouth fwl, noding hiz hed.
`I’d give a shilling a line for a verbatim note,’ said the Editor. The Time Traveller pushed his glass towards the Silent Man and rang it with his fingernail; at which the Silent Man, who had been staring at his face, started convulsively, and poured him wine. The rest of the dinner was uncomfortable. For my own part, sudden questions kept on rising to my lips, and I dare say it was the same with the others. The Journalist tried to relieve the tension by telling anecdotes of Hettie Potter. The Time Traveller devoted his attention to his dinner, and displayed the appetite of a tramp. The Medical Man smoked a cigarette, and watched the Time Traveller through his eyelashes. The Silent Man seemed even more clumsy than usual, and drank champagne with regularity and determination out of sheer nervousness. At last the Time Traveller pushed his plate away, and looked round us. `I suppose I must apologize,’ he said. `I was simply starving. I’ve had a most amazing time.’ He reached out his hand for a cigar, and cut the end. `But come into the smoking-room. It’s too long a story to tell over greasy plates.’ And ringing the bell in passing, he led the way into the adjoining room. ‘I’d giv a shiling a lien for a vurbaetum noet,’ sed dhe Edutur. Dhv Tiem Travulur pwshd hiz glas tuwordz dhv Sielunt Man and rang it with hiz finggurnael; at which dhv Sielunt Man, hoo had bin stering at hiz faes, startud kunvullsivly, and pord him wien. Dhv rest uv dhv dinur wvz unkvmfurtubul. For mie oen part, svdun kweschunz kept on riezing to mie lips, and I der sae it wvz dhv saem with dhe vdhurz. Dhv Jvrnulust tried to rileev dhv tenshun by teling anikdoets uv Hety Potur. Dhv Tiem Travulur divoetud hiz utenchun to hiz dinur, and displaed dhe aputiet uv a tramp. Dhv Medikul Man smoekd a siguret, and wochd dhv Tiem Travulur throo hiz ielashuz. Dhv Sielunt Man seemd eevun mor klvmzy dhan uezuul, and drank shampaen with regyularruty and ditvrmunaeshun out uv shir nvrvusnus. At last dhv Tiem Travulur pwshd hiz plaet uwae, and lwkd round vs. ‘I supoez I mvst upolujiez,’ he sed. ‘I wvz simply starving. I’v had a moest umaezing tiem.’ He reechd out hiz hand for a sigar, and kvt dhe end. ‘Bvt kvm into dhv smoeking-room. It’s too long a story to tel oevur greezy plaets.’ And ringing dhv bel in pasing, he led dhv wae into dhe ujoining room.
`You have told Blank, and Dash, and Chose about the machine?’ he said to me, leaning back in his easy-chair and naming the three new guests. ‘Yoo hav toeld Blank, and Dash, and Choez ubout dhv Musheen?’ he sed to me, leening bak in hiz eezy-cher and naeming dhv three noo gests.
`But the thing’s a mere paradox,’ said the Editor. ‘Bvt dhv thing’z a mir parrudoks,’ sed dhe Edutur.
`I can’t argue to-night. I don’t mind telling you the story, but I can’t argue. I will,’ he went on, `tell you the story of what has happened to me, if you like, but you must refrain from interruptions. I want to tell it. Badly. Most of it will sound like lying. So be it! It’s true–every word of it, all the same. I was in my laboratory at four o’clock, and since then . . . I’ve lived eight days . . . such days as no human being ever lived before! I’m nearly worn out, but I shan’t sleep till I’ve told this thing over to you. Then I shall go to bed. But no interruptions! Is it agreed?’ ‘I kan’t argue tuniet. I doent miend teling yoo dhv story, bvt I kan’t argue. I wil,’ he went on, ‘tel yoo dhv story uv whot haz hapund to me, if yoo like, bvt yoo mvst rifraen frvm inturvpshunz. I wvnt to tel it. Badly. Moest uv it wil sound like lieing. So be it! It’s troo—evry wvrd uv it, aul dhv saem. I wvz in mie labrutory at faur u’klok, and sins dhen . . . I’v livd eit daez . . . svch daez az no huemun being evur livd bifoer! I’m nirly worn out, bvt I shan’t sleep til I’v toeld dhis thing oevur to yoo. Dhen I shal go to bed. Bvt no inturvpshunz! Iz it ugreed?’
`Agreed,’ said the Editor, and the rest of us echoed `Agreed.’ And with that the Time Traveller began his story as I have set it forth. He sat back in his chair at first, and spoke like a weary man. Afterwards he got more animated. In writing it down I feel with only too much keenness the inadequacy of pen and ink –and, above all, my own inadequacy–to express its quality. You read, I will suppose, attentively enough; but you cannot see the speaker’s white, sincere face in the bright circle of the little lamp, nor hear the intonation of his voice. You cannot know how his expression followed the turns of his story! Most of us hearers were in shadow, for the candles in the smoking-room had not been lighted, and only the face of the Journalist and the legs of the Silent Man from the knees downward were illuminated. At first we glanced now and again at each other. After a time we ceased to do that, and looked only at the Time Traveller’s face. ‘Ugreed,’ sed dhe Edutur, and dhv rest uv vs ekoed ‘Ugreed.’ And with dhat dhv Tiem Travulur bigan hiz story az I hav set it forth. He sat bak in hiz cher at fvrst, and spoek like a wiry man. Afturwurdz he got mor anumaetud. In wrieting it doun I feel with oenly too mvch keennus dhe inadikwusy uv pen and ink –and, ubuvv aul, mie oen inadikwusy—to ekspres its kwoluty. Yoo reed, I wil supoez, and utentivly invf; bvt yoo kanot see dhv speekur’z whiet, sinsir faes in dhv briet svrkul uv dhv litul lamp, nor hir dhe intoenaeshun uv hiz vois. Yoo kanot knoe hou hiz ekspreshun foloed dhv tvrnz uv hiz story! Moest uv vs hirurz wvr in shadoe, for dhv kandulz in dhv smoeking-room had not bin lietud, and oenly dhv faes uv dhv Jvrnulust and dhv legz uv dhv Sielunt Man frvm dhv neez dounwvrd wvr iloomunaethd. At fvrst we glansd nou and ugen at eech vdhur. Aftur a tiem we seesd to do dhat, and lwkd oenly at dhv Tiem Travulur’z faes.
`And you cannot move at all in Time, you cannot get away from the present moment.’ ‘And yoo kanot moov at aul in Tiem, yoo kanot get uwae frvm dhv prezunt moemunt.’
`My dear sir, that is just where you are wrong. That is just where the whole world has gone wrong. We are always getting away from the present moment. Our mental existences, which are immaterial and have no dimensions, are passing along the Time-Dimension with a uniform velocity from the cradle to the grave. Just as we should travel down if we began our existence fifty miles above the earth’s surface.’ ‘Mie dir svr, dhat iz jvst wher yoo ar rong. Dhat iz jvst wher dhv hoel wvruld haz gon rong. We ar aulwaez getting uwae frvm dhv prezunt moemunt. Our mentul egzistunsuz, which ar imutireul and hav no dumenshunz, ar pasing ulong dhv Tiem-Dumenshun with a uenuform vulosuty frvm dhv kraedul to dhv graev. Jvst az we shwd travul doun if we bigan our egzistuns fifty mielz ubuvv dhe vrth’s svrfus.’
`But the great difficulty is this,’ interrupted the Psychologist. `You can move about in all directions of Space, but you cannot move about in Time.’ ‘Bvt dhv graet difikulty iz dhis,’ inturvptud dhv Siekolujust. ‘Yoo kan moov ubout in aul durekshunz uv Spaes, bvt yoo kanot moov ubout in Tiem.’
`That is the germ of my great discovery. But you are wrong to say that we cannot move about in Time. For instance, if I am recalling an incident very vividly I go back to the instant of its occurrence: I become absent-minded, as you say. I jump back for a moment. Of course we have no means of staying back for any length of Time, any more than a savage or an animal has of staying six feet above the ground. But a civilized man is better off than the savage in this respect. He can go up against gravitation in a balloon, and why should he not hope that ultimately he may be able to stop or accelerate his drift along the Time-Dimension, or even turn about and travel the other way?’ ‘Dhat iz dhv jvrm uv mie graet diskuvvury. Bvt yoo ar rong to sae dhat we kanot moov ubout in Tiem. For instuns, if I am rykauling an insudunt very vivudly I go bak to dhe instunt uv its ukvruns: I bikvm absunt-miendud, az yoo sae. I jvmp bak for a moemunt. Uv kors we hav no meenz uv staeing bak for eny length uv Tiem, eny mor dhan a savij or an anumul haz uv staeing siks feet ubuvv dhv ground. Bvt a sivuliezd man iz betur off dhan dhv savij in dhis rispekt. He kan go vp ugenst gravutaeshun in a buloon, and whie shwd he not hoep dhat vltumutly he mae be aebul to stop or akseluraet hiz drift ulong dhv Tiem-Dumenshun, or eevun tvrn ubout and travul in dhe vdhur wae?’
`Oh, this,’ began Filby, `is all–‘ ‘Oh, dhis’ bigan Filby, ‘iz aul—’
`Why not?’ said the Time Traveller. ‘Whie not?’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur.
`It’s against reason,’ said Filby. ‘It’s ugest reezun,’ sed Filby.
`What reason?’ said the Time Traveller. ‘Whot reezun?’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur.
`You can show black is white by argument,’ said Filby, `but you will never convince me.’ ‘Yoo kan shoe blak iz whiet by argyumunt,’ sed Filby, ‘bvt yoo wil nevur kunvins me.’
`Possibly not,’ said the Time Traveller. `But now you begin to see the object of my investigations into the geometry of Four Dimensions. Long ago I had a vague inkling of a machine–‘ ‘Posubly not,’ sed dhv Teim Travulur. ‘Bvt nou yoo bigin to see dhe objikt uv mie investugaeshunz into dhv jeomutry uv Faur Dumenshunz. Long ugoe I had a vaeg inkling uv a musheen—’
`To travel through Time!’ exclaimed the Very Young Man. ‘To travul throo Tiem!’ eksklaemd dhv Very Yvng Man.
`That shall travel indifferently in any direction of Space and Time, as the driver determines.’ ‘Dhat shal travul indifuruntly in eny durekshun uv Spaes and Tiem, az dhv drievur ditvrmunz.’
Filby contented himself with laughter. Filby kuntentud himself with laftur.
`But I have experimental verification,’ said the Time Traveller. ‘Bvt I hav ekspirumentul verufikaeshun,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur.
`It would be remarkably convenient for the historian,’ the Psychologist suggested. `One might travel back and verify the accepted account of the Battle of Hastings, for instance!’ ‘It wwd be rimarkubly kunveenyunt for  dhv historeun,’ dhv Siekolujust sugjestud. ‘Wvn miet travul bak and verufie dhe akseptud ukount uv dhv Batul uv Haestingz, for instuns!’
`Don’t you think you would attract attention?’ said the Medical Man. `Our ancestors had no great tolerance for anachronisms.’ ‘Doent yoo think yoo wwd utrakt utenchun?’ sed dhv Medikul Man. ‘Our ansesturz had no graet toluruns for unakrunizumz.’
`One might get one’s Greek from the very lips of Homer and Plato,’ the Very Young Man thought. ‘Wvn miet get wvn’z Greek frvm dhv very lips uv Hoemur and Plaetoe,’ dhv Very Yvng Man thaut.
`In which case they would certainly plough you* for the Little-go**. The German scholars have improved Greek so much.’

*plough you—bury you.

**A particular examination at Cambridge University.

‘In which kaes dhae wwd svrtunly plou yoo for dhv Litul-go**. Dhv Jvrmun skolurz hav improovd Greek so mvch.’

*plou yoo—bery yoo.

**A purtikyulur egzamunaeshun at Kaembrij Uenuvurrsuty.

`Then there is the future,’ said the Very Young Man. `Just think! One might invest all one’s money, leave it to accumulate at interest, and hurry on ahead!’ ‘Dhen dher iz dhv fuechur,’ sed dhv Very Yvng Man. ‘Jvst think! Wvn miet invest aul wvn’z mvny, leev it to ukuemulaet at inturust, and hvry on uhed!’
`To discover a society,’ said I, `erected on a strictly communistic basis.’ [From those who have plenty—to those who have need.] ‘To diskuvvur a susiuty,’ sed I, ‘irektud on a striktly komyunistik baesus.’ [Frvm dhoez hoo hav plenty—to dhoez hoo hav need.]
`Of all the wild extravagant theories!’ began the Psychologist. ‘Uv aul dhv wield ekstravugunt theuryz!’ bigan dhv Siekolujust.
`Yes, so it seemed to me, and so I never talked of it until–‘ ‘Yes, so it seemd to me, and so I nevur taulkd uv it until—’
`Experimental verification!’ cried I. `You are going to verify that?’ ‘Ekspirumentul verufikaeshun!’ kried I. ‘Yoo ar going to verufie dhat?’
`The experiment!’ cried Filby, who was getting brain-weary. ‘Dhe ekspirumunt!’ kried Filby, hoo wvz getting braen-wiry.
`Let’s see your experiment anyhow,’ said the Psychologist, `though it’s all humbug, you know.’ ‘Let’s see yor ekspirumunt enyhou,’ sed dhv Siekolujust, ‘dhoe it’s aul hvmbug, yoo knoe.’
The Time Traveller smiled round at us. Then, still smiling faintly, and with his hands deep in his trousers pockets, he walked slowly out of the room, and we heard his slippers shuffling down the long passage to his laboratory. Dhv Tiem Travulur smield round at vs. Dhen, stil smieling faently, and with hiz handz deep in hiz trouzurz pokuts, he waulkd sloely out uv dhv room, and we hvrd hiz slipurz shvfuling doun dhv long pasij to hiz labrutory.
The Psychologist looked at us. `I wonder what he’s got?’ Dhv Siekolujust lwkd at vs. ‘I wvndur whot he’z got?’
`Some sleight-of-hand trick or other,’ said the Medical Man, and Filby tried to tell us about a conjurer he had seen at Burslem; but before he had finished his preface the Time Traveller came back, and Filby’s anecdote collapsed. ‘Svm sliet-uv-hand trik or vdhur,’ sed dhv Medikul Man, and Filby tried to tel vs ubout a kunjvrur he had seen at Bvrslum; bvt bifoer he had finishd hiz prefus dhv Tiem Travulur kaem bak, and Filby’z anikdoet kulapsd.
The thing the Time Traveller held in his hand was a glittering metallic framework, scarcely larger than a small clock, and very delicately made. There was ivory in it, and some transparent crystalline substance. And now I must be explicit, for this that follows–unless his explanation is to be accepted–is an absolutely unaccountable thing. He took one of the small octagonal tables that were scattered about the room, and set it in front of the fire, with two legs on the hearthrug. On this table he placed the mechanism. Then he drew up a chair, and sat down. The only other object on the table was a small shaded lamp, the bright light of which fell upon the model. There were also perhaps a dozen candles about, two in brass candlesticks upon the mantel and several in sconces, so that the room was brilliantly illuminated. I sat in a low arm-chair nearest the fire, and I drew this forward so as to be almost between the Time Traveller and the fireplace. Filby sat behind him, looking over his shoulder. The Medical Man and the Provincial Mayor watched him in profile from the right, the Psychologist from the left. The Very Young Man stood behind the Psychologist. We were all on the alert. It appears incredible to me that any kind of trick, however subtly conceived and however adroitly done, could have been played upon us under these conditions. Dhv thing dhv Tiem Travulur held in hiz hand wvz a glituring mutalik fraemwurk, skersly larjur dhan a smaul klok, and very delikutly maed. Dher wvz ievury in it, and svm transperunt kristulun svbstuns. And nou I mvst be eksplisut, for dhis dhat foloez—unles hiz eksplunaeshun iz to be akseptud—iz an absulootly unukountubul thing. He twk wvn uv dhv smaul oktagunul taebulz dhat wvr skaturd ubout dhv room, and set it in frvnt uv dhv fier, with two legz on dhv harthrug. On dhis taebul he plaesd dhv mekunizum. Dhen he droo vp a cher, and sat doun. Dhe oenly vdhur objikt on dhv taebul wvz a smaul shaedud lamp, dhv briet liet uv which fel upon dhv modul. Dher wvr aulsoe purhaps a dvzun kandulz ubout, two in bras kandulstiks upon dhv mantul and sevurul in skonsuz, so dhat dhv room wvz brilyuntly iloomunaetud. I sat in a loe arm-cher nirust dhv fier, and I droo dhis forwurd so az to be aulmoest bitween dhv Tiem Travulur and dhv fierplaes. Filby sat bihiend him, lwking oevur hiz shoeldur. Dhv Medikul Man and dhv Pruvinchul Maer wochd him in proefiel frvm dhv riet, dhv Siekolujust frvm dhv left. Dhv Very Yvng Man stwd bihiend dhv Siekolujust. We wvr aul on dhe ulvrt. It upirz inkredubul to me dhat eny kiend uv trik, houevur svtuly kunseevd and houevur udroitly dvn, kwd hav bin plaed upon vs vndur dheez kundishunz.
The Time Traveller looked at us, and then at the mechanism. `Well?’ said the Psychologist. Dhv Tiem Travulur lwkd at vs, and dhen at dhv mekunizum. ‘Wel?’ sed dhv Siekolujust.
`This little affair,’ said the Time Traveller, resting his elbows upon the table and pressing his hands together above the apparatus, `is only a model. It is my plan for a machine to travel through time. You will notice that it looks singularly askew, and that there is an odd twinkling appearance about this bar, as though it was in some way unreal.’ He pointed to the part with his finger. `Also, here is one little white lever, and here is another.’ ‘Dhis litul ufer,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur, resting hiz elboez upon dhv taebul and presing hiz handz tugedhur ubuvv dhe apuratus, ‘iz oenly a modul. It iz mie plan for a musheen to travul throo tiem. Yoo wil noetus dhat it lwks singyulurly uskue, and dhat dher iz an od twinkuling upiruns ubout dhis bar, az dhoe it wvz in svm wae unreel.’ He pointud to dhv part with hiz finggur. ‘aulsoe, hir iz wvn litul whiet levur, and hir iz unvdhur.’
The Medical Man got up out of his chair and peered into the thing. `It’s beautifully made,’ he said. Dhv Medikul Man got vp out uv hiz cher and pird into dhv thing. ‘It’s buetufuly maed,’ he sed.
`It took two years to make,’ retorted the Time Traveller. Then, when we had all imitated the action of the Medical Man, he said: `Now I want you clearly to understand that this lever, being pressed over, sends the machine gliding into the future, and this other reverses the motion. This saddle represents the seat of a time traveller. Presently I am going to press the lever, and off the machine will go. It will vanish, pass into future Time, and disappear. Have a good look at the thing. Look at the table too, and satisfy yourselves there is no trickery. I don’t want to waste this model, and then be told I’m a quack.’ ‘It twk two yirz to maek,’ ritortud dhv Tiem Travulur. Dhen, when we had aul imutaetud dhe akshun uv dhv Medikul Man, he sed: ‘Nou I wvnt yoo klirly to undurstand dhat dhis levur, being presd oevur, sendz dhv musheen glieding into dhv fuechur, and dhis vdhur rivurrsuz dhv moeshun. Dhis sadul repruzents dhv seet uv a tiem travulur. Prezuntly I am going to pres dhv levur, and off dhv musheen wil go. It wil vanish, pas into fuechur Tiem, and disupir. Hav a gwd lwk at dhv thing. Lwk at dhv taebul too, and satusfie yorselvz dher iz no trikury. I doent wvnt to waest dhis modul, and dhen be toeld I’m a kwak.’
There was a minute’s pause perhaps. The Psychologist seemed about to speak to me, but changed his mind. Then the Time Traveller put forth his finger towards the lever. `No,’ he said suddenly. `Lend me your hand.’ And turning to the Psychologist, he took that individual’s hand in his own and told him to put out his forefinger. So that it was the Psychologist himself who sent forth the model Time Machine on its interminable voyage. We all saw the lever turn. I am absolutely certain there was no trickery. There was a breath of wind, and the lamp flame jumped. One of the candles on the mantel was blown out, and the little machine suddenly swung round, became indistinct, was seen as a ghost for a second perhaps, as an eddy of faintly glittering brass and ivory; and it was gone–vanished! Save for the lamp the table was bare. Dher wvz a minut’s pauz purhaps. Dhv Siekolujust seemd ubout to speek to me, bvt chaenjd hiz miend. Dhen dhv Tiem Travulur pwt forth hiz finggur tuwordz dhv levur. ‘No,’ he sed svdunly. ‘Lend me yor hand.’ And tvrning to dhv Siekolujust, he twk dhat induviduul’z hand in hiz own and toeld him to pwt out hiz foerfinggur. So dhat it wvz dhv Siekolujust himself hoo sent forth dhv modul Tiem Musheen on its intvrmunubul voiij. We aul sau dhv levur tvrn. I am absulootly svrtun dher wvz no trikury. Dher wvz a breth uv wind, and dhv lamp flaem jvmpd. Wvn uv dhv kandulz on dhv mantul wvz bloen out, and dhv litul musheen svdunly swvng round, bikaem indistinkt, wvz seen az a goest for a sekund purhaps, az an edy uv faently glituring bras and ievury; and it wvz gon—vanishd! Saev for dhv lamp dhv taebul wvz ber.
Everyone was silent for a minute. Then Filby said he was damned. Evrywun wvz sielunt for a minut. Dhen Filby sed he wvz dammd.
The Psychologist recovered from his stupor, and suddenly looked under the table. At that the Time Traveller laughed cheerfully. `Well?’ he said, with a reminiscence of the Psychologist. Then, getting up, he went to the tobacco jar on the mantel, and with his back to us began to fill his pipe. Dhv Siekolujust rikuvvurd frvm hiz stoopur, and svdunly lwkd vndur dhv taebul. At dhat dhv Tiem Travulur lafd chirfuly. ‘Wel?’ he sed, with a remunisuns uv dhv Siekolujust. Dhen, getting vp, he went to dhv tubakoe jar on dhv mantul, and with hiz bak to vs bigan to fil hiz piep.
We stared at each other. `Look here,’ said the Medical Man, `are you in earnest about this? Do you seriously believe that that machine has travelled into time?’ We sterd at eech vdhur. ‘Lwk hir,’ sed dhv Medikul Man, ‘ar yoo in vrnust ubout dhis? Do yoo sireusly bileev dhat dhat musheen haz travuld into tiem?’
`Certainly,’ said the Time Traveller, stooping to light a spill at the fire. Then he turned, lighting his pipe, to look at the Psychologist’s face. (The Psychologist, to show that he was not unhinged, helped himself to a cigar and tried to light it uncut.) `What is more, I have a big machine nearly finished in there’–he indicated the laboratory–`and when that is put together I mean to have a journey on my own account.’ ‘Svrtunly,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur, stooping to liet a spil at dhv fier. Dhen he tvrnd, lieting hiz piep, to lwk at dhv Siekolujust’s faes. (Dhv Siekolujust, to shoe dhat he wvz not unhinjd, helpd himself to a sigar and tried to liet it unkvt.) ‘Whot iz mor, I hav a big musheen nirly finishd in dher’—he indikaetud dhv labrutory—’and when dhat iz pwt tugedhur I meen to hav a jvrny on mie oen ukount.’
`You mean to say that that machine has travelled into the future?’ said Filby. ‘Yoo meen to sae dhat dhat musheen haz travuld into dhv fuechur?’ sed Filby.
`Into the future or the past–I don’t, for certain, know which.’ ‘Into dhv fuechur or dhv past—I doent, for svrtun, knoe which.’
After an interval the Psychologist had an inspiration. `It must have gone into the past if it has gone anywhere,’ he said. Aftur an inturvul dhv Siekolujust had an inspuraeshun. ‘It mvst hav gon into dhv past if it haz gon enywher,’ he sed.
`Why?’ said the Time Traveller. ‘Whie?’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur.
`Because I presume that it has not moved in space, and if it travelled into the future it would still be here all this time, since it must have travelled through this time.’ ‘Bikauz I prizoom dhat it haz not moovd in spaes, and if it travuld into dhv fuechur it wwd stil be hir aul dhis tiem, sins it mvst hav travuld throo dhis tiem.’
`But,’ I said, `If it travelled into the past it would have been visible when we came first into this room; and last Thursday when we were here; and the Thursday before that; and so forth!’ ‘Bvt,’ I sed, ‘if it travuld into dhv past it wwd hav bin vizubul when we kaem fvrst into dhis room; and last Thvrzdae when we wvr hir; and dhv Thvrzdae bifoer dhat; and so forth!’
`Serious objections,’ remarked the Provincial Mayor, with an air of impartiality, turning towards the Time Traveller. ‘Sireus ubjekshunz,’ rimarkd dhv Pruvinchul Maer, with an er uv imparshealuty, tvrning tuwordz dhv Tiem Travulur.
`Not a bit,’ said the Time Traveller, and, to the Psychologist: `You think. You can explain that. It’s presentation below the threshold, you know, diluted presentation.’ ‘Not a bit,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur, and, to dhv Siekolujust: ‘Yoo think. Yoo kan eksplaen dhat. It’s prezuntaeshun biloe dhv threshhoeld, yoo knoe, dielootud prezuntaeshun.’
`Of course,’ said the Psychologist, and reassured us. `That’s a simple point of psychology. I should have thought of it. It’s plain enough, and helps the paradox delightfully. We cannot see it, nor can we appreciate this machine, any more than we can the spoke of a wheel spinning, or a bullet flying through the air. If it is travelling through time fifty times or a hundred times faster than we are, if it gets through a minute while we get through a second, the impression it creates will of course be only one-fiftieth or one-hundredth of what it would make if it were not travelling in time. That’s plain enough.’ He passed his hand through the space in which the machine had been. `You see?’ he said, laughing. ‘Uv kors,’ sed dhv Siekolujust, and reushwrd vs. ‘Dhat’s a simpul point uv siekolujy. I shwd hav thaut uv it. It’s plaen invf, and helps dhv parrudoks dilietfuly. We kanot see it, nor kan we upreesheaet dhis musheen, eny mor dhan we kan dhv spoek uv a wheel spining, or a bwlut flieing throo dhe er. If it iz travuling throo tiem fifty tiemz or a hvndrud tiemz fastur dhan we ar, if it gets throo a minut whiel we get throo a sekund, dhe impreshun it kreates wil uv kors be oenly wvn-fiftyuth or wvn-hvndrudth uv whot it wwd maek if it wvr not travuling in tiem. Dhat’s plaen invf.’ He pasd hiz hand throo dhv spaes in which dhv musheen had bin. ‘Yoo see?’ he sed, lafing.
We sat and stared at the vacant table for a minute or so. Then the Time Traveller asked us what we thought of it all. We sat and sterd at dhv vaekunt taebul for a minut or so. Dhen dhv Tiem Travulur askd vs whot we thaut uv it aul.
`It sounds plausible enough to-night,’ said the Medical Man; ‘but wait until to-morrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.’ ‘It soundz plauzubul invf tunoet,’ sed dhv Medikul Man; ‘bvt waet until tumoroe. Waet for dhv komun sens uv dhv morning.
`Would you like to see the Time Machine itself?’ asked the Time Traveller. And therewith, taking the lamp in his hand, he led the way down the long, draughty corridor to his laboratory. I remember vividly the flickering light, his queer, broad head in silhouette, the dance of the shadows, how we all followed him, puzzled but incredulous, and how there in the laboratory we beheld a larger edition of the little mechanism which we had seen vanish from before our eyes. Parts were of nickel, parts of ivory, parts had certainly been filed or sawn out of rock crystal. The thing was generally complete, but the twisted crystalline bars lay unfinished upon the bench beside some sheets of drawings, and I took one up for a better look at it. Quartz it seemed to be. ‘Wwd yoo like to see dhv Tiem Musheen itself?’ askd dhv Tiem Travulur. And dherwith, taeking dhv lamp in hiz hand, he led dhv wae doun dhv long, drafty korudor to hiz labrutory. I rimembur vivudly dhv flikuring liet, hiz kwir, braud hed in siluwet, dhv dans uv dhv shadoez, hou we aul foloed him, pvzuld bvt inkredyulus, and hou dher in dhv labrutory we biheld a larjur udishun uv dhv litul mekunizum which we had seen vanish frvm bifoer our iez. Parts wvr uv nikul, parts uv ievury, parts had svrtunly bin field or saun out uv rok kristul. Dhv thing wvz jenuruly kumpleet, bvt dhv twistud kristulun barz lae unfinishd upon dhv bench bisied svm sheets uv drauingz, and I twk wvn vp for a betur lwk at it. Kworts it seemd to be.
`Look here,’ said the Medical Man, `are you perfectly serious? Or is this a trick–like that ghost you showed us last Christmas?’ ‘Lwk hir,’ sed dhv Medikul Man, ‘ar yoo purfiktly sireus? Or iz dhis a trik-like dhat goest yoo shoed vs last Krismus?’
`Upon that machine,’ said the Time Traveller, holding the lamp aloft, `I intend to explore time. Is that plain? I was never more serious in my life.’ ‘Upon dhat musheen,’ sed dhv Tiem Travulur, hoelding dhv lamp uloft, ‘I intend to eksplor tiem. Iz dhat plaen? I wvz nevur mor sireus in mie lief.’
None of us quite knew how to take it. Nvn uv vs kwiet knoo hou to taek it.
I caught Filby’s eye over the shoulder of the Medical Man, and he winked at me solemnly. I kaut Filby’z ie oevur dhv shoeldur uv dhv Medikul Man, and he winkd at me solumly.

 

 

 

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Chapter 12

Pinocchio contents

 

THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO DHE UDVENCHURZ UV PINOEKEOE
by C. Collodi [Pseudonym of Carlo Lorenzini] by C. Collodi [Soodunim uv Carlo Lorenzini]
Translated from the Italian by Carol Della Chiesa Translaetud frvm dhe Italian by Carol Della Chiesa
CHAPTER 12 CHAPTUR 12
Fire Eater gives Pinocchio five gold pieces for his father, Geppetto; but the Marionette meets a Fox and a Cat and follows them. Fier Eetur givz Pinoekeoe fiev goeld peesuz for hiz fodhur, Jupetoe; bvt dhv Marreunet meets a Foks and a Kat and foloez dhem.
The next day Fire Eater called Pinocchio aside and asked him: Dhv nekst dae Fier Eetur kauld Pinoekeoe usied and askd him:
“What is your father’s name?” “Whot iz yor fodhur’z naem?”
“Geppetto.” “Jupetoe.”
“And what is his trade?” “And whot iz hiz traed?”
“He’s a wood carver.” “He’z a wwd karvur.”
“Does he earn much?” “Dvz he vrn mvch?”
“He earns so much that he never has a penny in his pockets. Just think that, in order to buy me an A-B-C book for school, he had to sell the only coat he owned, a coat so full of darns and patches that it was a pity.” “He vrnz so mvch dhat he nevur haz a peny in hiz pokuts. Jvt think dhat, in ordur to buy me an A-B-C bwk for skool, he had to sel dhe oenly koet he oend, a koet so fwl uv darns and pachuz dhat it wvz a pity.”
“Poor fellow! I feel sorry for him. Here, take these five gold pieces. Go, give them to him with my kindest regards.” “Por feloe! I feel sory for him. Hir, taek dheez fiev goeld peesuz. Go, giv dhem to him with mie kiendust rigardz.”
Pinocchio, as may easily be imagined, thanked him a thousand times. He kissed each Marionette in turn, even the officers, and, beside himself with joy, set out on his homeward journey. Pinoekeoe, az mae eezuly be imajund, thankd him a thouzund tiemz. He kisd eech Marreunet in tvrn, eevun dhe ofusurz, and, bisied himself with joi, set out on hiz hoemwurd jvrny.
He had gone barely half a mile when he met a lame Fox and a blind Cat, walking together like two good friends. The lame Fox leaned on the Cat, and the blind Cat let the Fox lead him along. He had gon berly haf a miel when he met a laem Foks and a bliend Kat, waulking tugedhur liek two gwd frendz. Dhv laem Foks leend on dhv Kat, and dhv bliend Kat let dhv Foks leed him ulong.
“Good morning, Pinocchio,” said the Fox, greeting him courteously. “Gwd morning, Pinoekeoe,” sed dhv Foks, greeting him kvrteusly.
“How do you know my name?” asked the Marionette. “Hou do yoo knoe mie naem?” askd dhv Marreunet.
“I know your father well.” “I knoe yor fodhur wel.”
“Where have you seen him?” “Where have you seen him?”
“I saw him yesterday standing at the door of his house.” “I sau him yesturdae standing at dhv dor uv hiz hous.”
“And what was he doing?” “And whot wvz he doing?”
“He was in his shirt sleeves trembling with cold.” “He wvz in hiz shvrt sleevz trembuling with koeld.”
“Poor Father! But, after today, God willing, he will suffer no longer.” “Por Fodhur! Bvt, aftur tudae, God wiling, he wil svfur no longgur.”
“Why?” “Whie?”
“Because I have become a rich man.” “Bikauz I hav bikvm a rich man.”
“You, a rich man?” said the Fox, and he began to laugh out loud. The Cat was laughing also, but tried to hide it by stroking his long whiskers. “Yoo, a rich man?” sed dhv Foks, and he bigan to laf out loud. Dhv Kat wvz lafing aulsoe, bvt tried to hied it by stroeking hiz long whiskurz.
“There is nothing to laugh at,” cried Pinocchio angrily. “I am very sorry to make your mouth water, but these, as you know, are five new gold pieces.” “Dher iz nvthing to laf at,” kried Pinoekeoe anggruly. “I am very sory to maek yor mouth wotur, bvt dheez, az yoo knoe, ar fiev noo goeld peesuz.”
And he pulled out the gold pieces which Fire Eater had given him. And he pwld out dhv goeld peesuz which Fier Eetur had givun him.
At the cheerful tinkle of the gold, the Fox unconsciously held out his paw that was supposed to be lame, and the Cat opened wide his two eyes till they looked like live coals, but he closed them again so quickly that Pinocchio did not notice. At dhv chirful tinkul uv dhv goeld, dhv Foks unkonshusly held out hiz pau dhat wvz supoezd to be laem, and dhv Kat oepund wied hiz two iez til dhae lwkd liek liev koalz, bvt he kloezd dhem ugen so kwikly dhat Pinoekeoe did not noetus.
“And may I ask,” inquired the Fox, “what you are going to do with all that money?” “And mae I ask,” inkwierd dhv Foks, “whot yoo ar going to do with aul dhat mvny?”
“First of all,” answered the Marionette, “I want to buy a fine new coat for my father, a coat of gold and silver with diamond buttons; after that, I’ll buy an A-B-C book for myself.” “Fvrst uv aul,” ansurd dhv Marreunet, “I wvnt to buy a fien noo koet for mie fodhur, a koet uv goeld and silvur with diemund bvtunz; aftur dhat, I’l buy an A-B-C bwk for mieself.”
“For yourself?” “For yorself?”
“For myself. I want to go to school and study hard.” “For mieself. I wvnt to go to skool and stvdy hard.”
“Look at me,” said the Fox. “For the silly reason of wanting to study, I have lost a paw.” “Lwk at me,” sed dhv Foks. “For dhv sily reezun uv wvnting to stvdy, I hav lost a pau.”
“Look at me,” said the Cat. “For the same foolish reason, I have lost the sight of both eyes.” “Lwk at me,” sed dhv Kat. “For dhv saem foolish reezun, I hav lost dhv siet uv boeth iez.”
At that moment, a Blackbird, perched on the fence along the road, called out sharp and clear: At that moment, a Blackbird, perched on the fence along the road, called out sharp and clear:
“Pinocchio, do not listen to bad advice. If you do, you’ll be sorry!” “Pinokeoe, do not lisun to bad udvies. If yoo do, yoo’l be sory!”
Poor little Blackbird! If he had only kept his words to himself! In the twinkling of an eyelid, the Cat leaped on him, and ate him, feathers and all. Por litul Blakburd! If he had oenly kept hiz wvrdz to himself! In dhv twinkuling uv an ielid, dhv Kat leepd on him, and aet him, fedhurz and aul.
After eating the bird, he cleaned his whiskers, closed his eyes, and became blind once more. Aftur eeting dhv bvrd, he kleend hiz whiskurz, kloezd hiz iez, and bikaem bliend wvns mor.
“Poor Blackbird!” said Pinocchio to the Cat. “Why did you kill him?” “Por Blakburd! sed Pinoekeoe to dhv Kat. “Whie did yoo kil him?”
“I killed him to teach him a lesson. He talks too much. Next time he will keep his words to himself.” “I kild him to teech him a lesun. He taulks too mvch. Nekst tiem he wil keep hiz wvrdz to himself.”
By this time the three companions had walked a long distance. Suddenly, the Fox stopped in his tracks and, turning to the Marionette, said to him: By dhis tiem dhv three kumpanyunz had waulkd a long distuns. Svdunly, dhv Foks stopd in hiz traks and, tvrning to dhv Marreunet, sed to him:
“Do you want to double your gold pieces?” “Do yoo wvnt to dvbul yor goeld peesuz?”
“What do you mean?” “Whot do yoo meen?”
“Do you want one hundred, a thousand, two thousand gold pieces for your miserable five?” “Do yoo wvnt wvn hvndrud, a thouzund, two thouzund goeld peesuz for yor mizurubul fiev?”
“Yes, but how?” “Yes, bvt hou?”
“The way is very easy. Instead of returning home, come with us.” “Dhv wae iz very eezy. Insted uv ritvrning hoem, kvm with vs.”
“And where will you take me?” “And wher wil yoo taek me?”
“To the City of Simple Simons.” “To dhv Sity uv Simpul Siemunz.”
Pinocchio thought a while and then said firmly: Pinoekeoe thaut a whiel and dhen sed fvrmly:
“No, I don’t want to go. Home is near, and I’m going where Father is waiting for me. How unhappy he must be that I have not yet returned! I have been a bad son, and the Talking Cricket was right when he said that a disobedient boy cannot be happy in this world. I have learned this at my own expense. Even last night in the theater, when Fire Eater. . . Brrrr!!!!! . . . The shivers run up and down my back at the mere thought of it.” “No, I doent wvnt to go. Hoem iz nir, and I’m going wher Fodhur iz waeting for me. Hou unhapy he mvst be dhat I hav not yet ritvrnd! I hav bin a bad svn, and dhv Taulking Krikut wvz riet when he sed dhat a disoebeedeunt boi kanot be hapy in dhis wvruld. I hav lvrnd dhis at mie oen ekspens. Eevun last niet in dhv theutur, when Fier Eetur. .  Brrr!!!!! . . . Dhv shivurz rvn vp and doun mie bak at dhv mir thaut uv it.”
“Well, then,” said the Fox, “if you really want to go home, go ahead, but you’ll be sorry.” “Wel, dhen,” sed dhv Foks, “if yoo reely wvnt to go hoem, go uhed, bvt yoo’l be sory.”
“You’ll be sorry,” repeated the Cat. “Yoo’l be sory,” ripeetud dhv Kat.
“Think well, Pinocchio, you are turning your back on Dame Fortune.” “Think wel, Pinoekeoe, yoo ar tvrning yor bak on Daem Forchun.”
“On Dame Fortune,” repeated the Cat. “On Daem Forchun,” ripeetud dhv Kat.
“Tomorrow your five gold pieces will be two thousand!” “Tumoroe yor fiev goeld peesuz wil be two thouzund!”
“Two thousand!” repeated the Cat. “Two thouzund! ripeetud dhv Kat.
“But how can they possibly become so many?” asked Pinocchio wonderingly. “Bvt hou kan dhae posubly bikvm so meny?” askd Pinoekeoe wvnduringly.
“I’ll explain,” said the Fox. “You must know that, just outside the City of Simple Simons, there is a blessed field called the Field of Wonders. In this field you dig a hole and in the hole you bury a gold piece. After covering up the hole with earth you water it well, sprinkle a bit of salt on it, and go to bed. During the night, the gold piece sprouts, grows, blossoms, and next morning you find a beautiful tree, that is loaded with gold pieces.” “I’l eksplaen,” sed dhv Foks. “Yoo mvst knoe dhat, jvst outsied dhv Sity uv Simpul Siemunz, dher iz a blesud feeld kauld dhv Feeld uv Wvndurz. In dhis feeld yoo dig a hoel and in dhv hoel yoo bery a goeld pees. Aftur kuvvuring vp dhv hoel with vrth yoo wotur it wel, sprinkul a bit uv sault on it, and go to bed. Dvring dhv niet, dhv goeld pees sprouts, groez, blosumz, and nekst morning yoo fiend a buetuful tree, dhat iz loadud with goeld peesuz.”
“So that if I were to bury my five gold pieces,” cried Pinocchio with growing wonder, “next morning I should find—how many?”

 

“So dhat if I wvr to bery mie fiev goeld peesuz,” kried Pinoekeoe with groeing wvndur, “nekst morning I shwd fiend–hou meny?”
“It is very simple to figure out,” answered the Fox. “Why, you can figure it on your fingers! Granted that each piece gives you five hundred, multiply five hundred by five. Next morning you will find twenty-five hundred new, sparkling gold pieces.” “It iz very simpul to figyur out,” ansurd dhv Foks. “Whie, yoo kan figyur it on yor finggurz! Grantud dhat eech pees givz yoo fiev hvndrud, mvltuplie fiev hvndrud by fiev. Next morning yoo wil fiend twenty-fiev hvndrud noo, sparkuling goeld peesuz.”
“Fine! Fine!” cried Pinocchio, dancing about with joy. “And as soon as I have them, I shall keep two thousand for myself and the other five hundred I’ll give to you two.” “Fien! Fien!” kriet Pinoekeoe, dansing ubout with joi. “And az soon az I hav dhem, I shal keep two thouzund for mieself and dhe vdhur fiev hvndrud I’l giv to yoo two.”
“A gift for us?” cried the Fox, pretending to be insulted. “Why, of course not!” “A gift for vs?” kried dhv Foks, pritending to be insultud. “Whie, uv kors not!”
“Of course not!” repeated the Cat. “Uv kars not!” ripeetud dhv Kat.
“We do not work for gain,” answered the Fox. “We work only to enrich others.” “We do not wvrk for gaen,” ansurd dhv Foks. “We wvrk oenly to enrich vdhurz.”
“To enrich others!” repeated the Cat. “To enrich vdhurz! Ripeetud dhv Kat.
“What good people,” thought Pinocchio to himself. And forgetting his father, the new coat, the A-B-C book, and all his good resolutions, he said to the Fox and to the Cat: “Whot gwd peepul,” thaut Pinoekeoe to himself. And forgeting hiz fodhur, dhv noo koet, dhe A-B-C bwk, and aul hiz gwd rezulooshunz, he sed to dhv Foks and to dhv Kat:
“Let us go. I am with you.” “Let vs go. I am with yoo.”

 

Pinocchio contents

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Chapter 11

Contents

 

THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO DHE UDVENCHURZ UV PINOEKEOE
by C. Collodi [Pseudonym of Carlo Lorenzini] by C. Collodi [Soodunim uv Carlo Lorenzini]
Translated from the Italian by Carol Della Chiesa Translaetud frvm dhe Italian by Carol Della Chiesa
CHAPTER 11 CHAPTUR 11
Fire Eater sneezes and forgives Pinocchio, who saves his friend, Harlequin, from death. Fier Eetur sneezuz and forgivz Pinoekeoe, hoo saevz hiz frend, Harlikwun, frvm deth.
In the theater, great excitement reigned. In dhv theutur, graet eksietmunt reind.
Fire Eater (this was really his name) was very ugly, but he was far from being as bad as he looked. Proof of this is that, when he saw the poor Marionette being brought in to him, struggling with fear and crying, “I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die!” he felt sorry for him and began first to waver and then to weaken. Finally, he could control himself no longer and gave a loud sneeze. Fier Eetur (dhis wvz reely hiz naem) wvz very vgly, bvt he wvz far frvm being az bad az he lwkd. Proof uv dhis iz dhat, when he sau dhv por Marreunet being braut in to him, strvguling with fir and krieing, “I doent wvnt to die! I doent wvnt to die! he felt sory for him and began fvrst to waevur and dhen to weekun. Fienuly, he kwd kuntroel himself no longgur and gaev a loud sneez.
At that sneeze, Harlequin, who until then had been as sad as a weeping willow, smiled happily and leaning toward the Marionette, whispered to him: At dhat sneez, Harlikwun, hoo until dhen had bin az sad az a weeping wiloe, smield hapuly and leening tuword dhv Marreunet, whispurd to him:
“Good news, brother mine! Fire Eater has sneezed and this is a sign that he feels sorry for you. You are saved!” “Gwd nooz, brvdhur mien! Fier Eetur haz sneezd and dhis iz a sien dhat he feelz sory for yoo. Yoo ar saevd!”
For be it known, that, while other people, when sad and sorrowful, weep and wipe their eyes, Fire Eater, on the other hand, had the strange habit of sneezing each time he felt unhappy. The way was just as good as any other to show the kindness of his heart. For be it knoen, dhat, whiel vdhur peepul, when sad and soroeful, weep and wiep dheir iez, Fier Eetur, on dhe vdhur hand, had dhv straenj habut uv sneezing eech tiem he felt unhapy. Dhv wae wvz jvst az gwd az eny vdhur to shoe dhv kiendnus uv hiz hart.
After sneezing, Fire Eater, ugly as ever, cried to Pinocchio: Aftur sneezing, Fier Eetur, vgly az evur, kried to Pinoekeoe:
“Stop crying! Your wails give me a funny feeling down here in my stomach and—E—tchee!—E—tchee!” Two loud sneezes finished his speech. “Stop krieing! Yor waelz giv me a fvny feeling doun hir in mie stvmik and –Eh—chee!—Eh—chee!” Two loud sneezuz finishd hiz speech.
“God bless you!” said Pinocchio. “God bles yoo!” sed Pinoekeoe.
“Thanks! Are your father and mother still living?” demanded Fire Eater. “Thanks! Ar yor fodhur and mvdhur stil living?” dimandud Fier Eetur.
“My father, yes. My mother I have never known.” “Mie fodhur, yes. Mie mvdhur I hav nevur knoen.”
“Your poor father would suffer terribly if I were to use you as firewood. Poor old man! I feel sorry for him! E—tchee! E—tchee! E—tchee!” Three more sneezes sounded, louder than ever. “Yor por fodhur wwd svfur terubly if I wvr to uez yoo az fierwwd, Por oeld man! I feel sory for him! Eh—chee! Eh—chee!” Three mor sneezuz soundud, loudur dhat evur.
“God bless you!” said Pinocchio. “God bles yoo!” sed Pinoekeoe.
“Thanks! However, I ought to be sorry for myself, too, just now. My good dinner is spoiled. I have no more wood for the fire, and the lamb is only half cooked. Never mind! In your place I’ll burn some other Marionette. Hey there! Officers!” “Thanks! Houevur, I aut to be sory for mieself, too, jvst nou. Mie gwd dinur iz spoild. I hav no mor wwd for dhv fier, and dhv lam iz oenly haf kwkd. Nevur miend! In yor plaes I’l bvrn svm vdhur Marreunet. Hae dher! Ofusurz!”
At the call, two wooden officers appeared, long and thin as a yard of rope, with queer hats on their heads and swords in their hands. At dhv kaul, two wwdun ofusurz upird, long and thin az a yard uv roep, with kwir hats on dheir hedz and sordz in dheir handz.
Fire Eater yelled at them in a hoarse voice: Fier Eetur yeld at dhem in a hoars vois:
“Take Harlequin, tie him, and throw him on the fire. I want my lamb well done!” “Taek Harlikwun, tie him, and throe him on dhv fier. I wvnt mie lam wel dvn!”
Think how poor Harlequin felt! He was so scared that his legs doubled up under him and he fell to the floor. Think hou por Harlikwun felt! He wvz so skerd dhat hiz legz dvbuld vp vndur him and he fel to dhv flor.
Pinocchio, at that heartbreaking sight, threw himself at the feet of Fire Eater and, weeping bitterly, asked in a pitiful voice which could scarcely be heard: Pinoekeoe, at dhat hartbraeking siet, throo himself at dhv feet uv Fier Eetur and, weeping biturly, askd in a pityful vois which kwd skersly be hvrd:
“Have pity, I beg of you, signore!” “Hav pity, I beg uv yoo, sinyor!”
“There are no signori here!” “Dher ar no sinyory hir!”
“Have pity, kind sir!” “Hav pity, kiend svr!”
“There are no sirs here!” “Dher ar no svrz hir!”
“Have pity, your Excellency!” “Hav pity, yor Eksulunsy!”
On hearing himself addressed as your Excellency, the Director of the Marionette Theater sat up very straight in his chair, stroked his long beard, and becoming suddenly kind and compassionate, smiled proudly as he said to Pinocchio: On hiring himself udresd az yor Eksulunsy, dhv Durektur uv dhv Marreunet Theutur sat vp very straet in hiz cher, stroekd hiz long bird, and bikvming svdunly kiend and kumpashunut, smield proudly az he sed to Pinoekeoe:
“Well, what do you want from me now, Marionette?” “Wel, whot do yoo wvnt frvm me nou, Marreunet?”
“I beg for mercy for my poor friend, Harlequin, who has never done the least harm in his life.” “I beg for mvrsy for mie por frend, Harlikwun, hoo haz nevur dvn dhv leest harm in hiz lief.”
“There is no mercy here, Pinocchio. I have spared you. Harlequin must burn in your place. I am hungry and my dinner must be cooked.” “Dher iz no mvrsy hir, Pinoekeoe. I hav sperd yoo. Harlikwun mvst bvrn in yor plaes. I am hvnggry and mie dinur mvst be kwkd.”
“In that case,” said Pinocchio proudly, as he stood up and flung away his cap of dough, “in that case, my duty is clear. Come, officers! Tie me up and throw me on those flames. No, it is not fair for poor Harlequin, the best friend that I have in the world, to die in my place!” “In dhat kaes,” sed Pinoekeoe proudly, az he stwd vp and flvng uwae hiz kap uv doe, “in dhat kaes, mie dooty iz klir. Kvm, ofusurz! Tie me vp and throe me on dhoez flaemz. No, it iz not fer for por Harlikwun, dhv best frend dhat I hav in dhv wvruld, to die in mie plaes!”
These brave words, said in a piercing voice, made all the other Marionettes cry. Even the officers, who were made of wood also, cried like two babies. Dheez braev wvrdz, sed in a pirsing vois, maed aul dhe vdhur Marreunets krie. Eevun dhe ofusurz, hoo wvr maed uv wwd aulsoe, kried liek two baebyz.
Fire Eater at first remained hard and cold as a piece of ice; but then, little by little, he softened and began to sneeze. And after four or five sneezes, he opened wide his arms and said to Pinocchio: Fier Eetur at fvrst rimaend hard and koeld az a pees uv ies; bvt dhen, litul by litul, he sofund and bigan to sneez. And aftur faur or fiev sneezuz, he oepund wied hiz armz and sed to Pinoekeo:
“You are a brave boy! Come to my arms and kiss me!” “Yoo ar a braev boi! Kvm to mie armz and kis me!”
Pinocchio ran to him and scurrying like a squirrel up the long black beard, he gave Fire Eater a loving kiss on the tip of his nose. Pinoekeoe ran to him and skvrying liek a skwvrul vp dhv long blak bird, he gaev Fier Eatur a luving kis on dhv tip uv hiz noez.
“Has pardon been granted to me?” asked poor Harlequin with a voice that was hardly a breath. “Haz pardun bin grantud to me?” askd por Harlikwun with a vois dhat wvz hardly a breth.
“Pardon is yours!” answered Fire Eater; and sighing and wagging his head, he added: “Well, tonight I shall have to eat my lamb only half cooked, but beware the next time, Marionettes.” “Pardun iz yorz!” ansurd Fier Eetur; and sieing and waging hiz hed, he addud: “Wel, tuniet I shal hav to eet mie lam oenly haf kwkd, bvt biwer dhv nekst tiem, Marreunets.”
At the news that pardon had been given, the Marionettes ran to the stage and, turning on all the lights, they danced and sang till dawn. At dhv nooz dhat pardun had bin givun, dhv Marreunets ran to dhv staej and, tvrning on aul dhv liets, dhae dansd and sang til daun.

 

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