by C. Collodi [Pseudonym of Carlo Lorenzini] by C. Collodi [Soodunim uv Carlo Lorenzini]
Translated from the Italian by Carol Della Chiesa Translaetud frvm dhe Italian by Carol Della Chiesa
The Lovely Maiden with Azure Hair sends for the poor Marionette, puts him to bed, and calls three Doctors to tell her if Pinocchio is dead or alive. Dhv Luvvly Maedun with Azhur Her sendz for dhv por Marreunet, pwts him to bed, and kaulz three Dokturz to tel hvr if Pinoekeoe iz ded or uliev.
If the poor Marionette had dangled there much longer, all hope would have been lost. Luckily for him, the Lovely Maiden with Azure Hair once again looked out of her window. Filled with pity at the sight of the poor little fellow being knocked helplessly about by the wind, she clapped her hands sharply together three times. If dhv por Marreunet had dangguld dher mvch longgur, aul hoep wwd hav bin lost. Lvkuly for him, dhv Luvvly Maedun with Azhur Her wvns ugen lwkd out uv hvr windoe. Fild with pity at dhv siet uv dhv por litul feloe being knokd helplusly ubout by dhv wind, she klapd hvr handz sharply tugedhur three tiemz.
At the signal, a loud whirr of wings in quick flight was heard and a large Falcon came and settled itself on the window ledge. At dhv signul, a loud whvr uv wingz in kwik fliet wvz hvrd and a larj Falkun kaem and setuld itself on dhv windoe lej.
“What do you command, my charming Fairy?” asked the Falcon, bending his beak in deep reverence (for it must be known that, after all, the Lovely Maiden with Azure Hair was none other than a very kind Fairy who had lived, for more than a thousand years, in the vicinity of the forest). “Whot do yoo kumand, mie charming Fery?” askd dhv Falkun, bending hiz beek in deep revuruns (for it mvst be knoen dhat, aftur aul, dhv Luvvly Maedun with Azhur Her wvz nvn vdhur dhan a very kiend Fery hoo had livd, for mor dhan a thouzund yirz, in dhv vusinuty uv dhv forust).
“Do you see that Marionette hanging from the limb of that giant oak tree?” “Do yoo see dhat Marreunet hanging frvm dhv lim uv dhat jiunt oek tree?”
“I see him.” “I see him.”
“Very well. Fly immediately to him. With your strong beak, break the knot which holds him tied, take him down, and lay him softly on the grass at the foot of the oak.” “Very wel. Flie imeedeutly to him. With yor strong beek, braek dhv knot which hoeldz him tied, taek him doun, and lae him softly on dhv gras at dhv fwt uv dhe oek.”
The Falcon flew away and after two minutes returned, saying, “I have done what you have commanded.” Dhv Falkun floo uwae and aftur two minuts ritvrnd, saeing, “I hav dvn whot yoo hav kumandud.”
“How did you find him? Alive or dead?” “Hou did yoo fiend him? Uliev or ded?”
“At first glance, I thought he was dead. But I found I was wrong, for as soon as I loosened the knot around his neck, he gave a long sigh and mumbled with a faint voice, ‘Now I feel better!’” “At fvrst glans, I thaut he wvz ded. Bvt I found I wvz rong, for az soon az I loosund dhv knot uround hiz nek, he gaev a long sie and mvmbuld with a faent vois, ‘Nou I feel betur!”’
The Fairy clapped her hands twice. A magnificent Poodle appeared, walking on his hind legs just like a man. He was dressed in court livery. A tricorn trimmed with gold lace was set at a rakish angle over a wig of white curls that dropped down to his waist. He wore a jaunty coat of chocolate-colored velvet, with diamond buttons, and with two huge pockets which were always filled with bones, dropped there at dinner by his loving mistress. Breeches of crimson velvet, silk stockings, and low, silver-buckled slippers completed his costume. His tail was encased in a blue silk covering, which was to protect it from the rain. Dhv Fery klapd hvr handz twies. A magnifusunt Poodul upird, waulking on hiz hiend legz jvst liek a man. He wvz dresd in kort livury. A triekorn trimd with goeld laes wvz set at a raekish anggul oevur a wig uv whiet kvrulz dhat dropd doun to hiz waest. He wor a jaunty koet uv chokulut-kvlurd velvut, with diemund bvtunz, and with two huej pokuts which wvr aulwaez fild with boenz, dropd dher at dinur by hiz luvving mistrus. Breechuz uv krimzun velvut, silk stokingz, and loe, silvur-bvkuld slipurz kumpleetud hiz kostoom. Hiz tael wvz enkaesd in a bloo silk kuvvuring, which wvz to prutekt it frvm dhv raen.
“Come, Medoro,” said the Fairy to him. “Get my best coach ready and set out toward the forest. On reaching the oak tree, you will find a poor, half-dead Marionette stretched out on the grass. Lift him up tenderly, place him on the silken cushions of the coach, and bring him here to me.” “Kvm, Mudoroe,” sed dhv Fery to him. “Get mie best koech redy and set out tuword dhv forust. On reeching dhe oek tree, yoo wil fiend a por, haf-ded Marreunet strechd out on dhv gras. Lift him vp tendurly, plaes him on dhv silkun kwshunz uv dhv koech, and bring him hir to me.”
The Poodle, to show that he understood, wagged his silk-covered tail two or three times and set off at a quick pace. Dhv Poodul, to shoe dhat he undurstwd, wagd hiz silk-kuvvurd tael two or three tiemz and set off at a kwik paes.
In a few minutes, a lovely little coach, made of glass, with lining as soft as whipped cream and chocolate pudding, and stuffed with canary feathers, pulled out of the stable. It was drawn by one hundred pairs of white mice, and the Poodle sat on the coachman’s seat and snapped his whip gayly in the air, as if he were a real coachman in a hurry to get to his destination. In a fue minuts, a luvvly litul koech, maed uv glas, with liening az soft az whipd kreem and chokulut pwding, and stvfd with kunery fedhurz, pwld out uv dhv staebul. It wvz draun by wvn hvndrud perz uv whiet mies, and dhv Poodul sat on dhv koechmun’z seet and snapd hiz whip gaely in dhe er, az if he wvr a reel koechmun in a hvry to get to hiz destunaeshun.
In a quarter of an hour the coach was back. The Fairy, who was waiting at the door of the house, lifted the poor little Marionette in her arms, took him to a dainty room with mother-of-pearl walls, put him to bed, and sent immediately for the most famous doctors of the neighborhood to come to her. In a kwortur uv an hour dhv koech wvz bak. Dhv Fery, hoo wvz waeting at dhv dor uv dhv hous, liftud dhv por litul Marreunet in hvr armz, twk him to a daenty room with mvdhur-uv-pvrul waulz, pwt him to bed, and sent imeedeutly for dhv moest faemus dokturz uv dhv naeburhwd to kvm to hvr.
One after another the doctors came, a Crow, and Owl, and a Talking Cricket. Wvn aftur unvdhur dhv dokturz kaem, a Kroe, an Oul, and a Taulking Krikut.
“I should like to know, signori,” said the Fairy, turning to the three doctors gathered about Pinocchio’s bed, “I should like to know if this poor Marionette is dead or alive.” “I shwd liek to knoe, sinyory,” sed dhv Fery, tvrning to dhv three dokturz gadhurd ubout Pinoekeoe’z bed, “I shwd liek to knoe if dhis por Marreunet iz ded or uliev.”
At this invitation, the Crow stepped out and felt Pinocchio’s pulse, his nose, his little toe. Then he solemnly pronounced the following words: At dhis invutaeshun, dhv Kroe stepd out and felt Pinoekeoe’z pvls, hiz noez, hiz litul toe. Dhen he solumly prunounsd dhv foloeing wvrdz:
“To my mind this Marionette is dead and gone; but if, by any evil chance, he were not, then that would be a sure sign that he is still alive!” “To mie miend dhis Marreunet iz ded and gon; bvt if, by eny eevul chans, he wvr not, dhen dhat wwd be a shwr sien dhat he iz stil uliev!”
“I am sorry,” said the Owl, “to have to contradict the Crow, my famous friend and colleague. To my mind this Marionette is alive; but if, by any evil chance, he were not, then that would be a sure sign that he is wholly dead!” “I am sory,” sed dhe Oul, “to hav to kontrudikt dhv Kroe, mie faemus frend and kolyg. To mie miend dhis Marreunet iz uliev; bvt if, by eny eevul chans, he wvr not, dhen dhat wwd be a shwr sien dhat he iz hoely ded!”
“And do you hold any opinion?” the Fairy asked the Talking Cricket. “And do yoo hoeld eny upinyun?” dhv Fery askd dhv Taulking Krikut.
“I say that a wise doctor, when he does not know what he is talking about, should know enough to keep his mouth shut. However, that Marionette is not a stranger to me. I have known him a long time!” “I sae dhat a wiez doktur, when he dvz not knoe whot he iz taulking ubout, shwd knoe invf to keep hiz mouth shvt. Houevur, dhat Marreunet iz not a straenjur to me. I hav knoen him a long tiem!”
Pinocchio, who until then had been very quiet, shuddered so hard that the bed shook. Pinoekeoe, hoo until dhen had bin very kwiut, shvdurd so hard dhat dhv bed shwk.
“That Marionette,” continued the Talking Cricket, “is a rascal of the worst kind.” “Dhat Marreunet,” kuntinued dhv Taulking Krikut, “iz a raskul uv dhv wvrst kiend.”
Pinocchio opened his eyes and closed them again. Pinoekeoe oepund hiz iez and kloezd dhem ugen.
“He is rude, lazy, a runaway.” “He iz rood, laezy, a rvnuwae.”
Pinocchio hid his face under the sheets. Pinoekeoe hid hiz faes vndur dhv sheets.
“That Marionette is a disobedient son who is breaking his father’s heart!” “Dhat Marreunet iz a disubeedeunt svn hoo iz braeking hiz fodhur’z hart!”
Long shuddering sobs were heard, cries, and deep sighs. Think how surprised everyone was when, on raising the sheets, they discovered Pinocchio half melted in tears! Long shvduring sobz wvr hvrd, kriez, and deep siez. Think hou surpriezd evrywun wvz when, on raezing dhv sheets, dhae diskuvvurd Pinoekeoe haf meltud in tirz!
“When the dead weep, they are beginning to recover,” said the Crow solemnly. “When dhv ded weep, dhae ar bigining to rikuvvur,” sed dhv Kroe solumly.
“I am sorry to contradict my famous friend and colleague,” said the Owl, “but as far as I’m concerned, I think that when the dead weep, it means they do not want to die.” “I am sory to kontrudikt mie faemus frend and kolyg,” sed dhe Oul, “bvt az far az I”m kunsvrnd, I think dhat when dhv ded weep, it meenz dhae do not wvnt to die.”






About Paul Stought

This blog will only be about spelling reform and Mentur. I am a retired machinist. I have been studying spelling reform since about 2000. I decided Mentur is what I would like to see as a user-friendly spelling system for English. Spelling reformers in general have widely differing views on the subject.
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